Thursday, March 16, 2017

Of Forgiveness

Something happened recently. Something that made me think "Ada jugak orang macam ni dalam dunia ni"

Mostly the feeling is angry, apart of that 'unbelievable' feeling.

I hate dramas. All my life, that's what I avoid the most. Even if sometimes, it means - giving in. Somewhere deep down, for everything that people did to me, I have faith that Allah knows and will someday reveal the truth. Alhamdulillah, that's all I can say. For the patience and rational thoughts inside of me. And for the calmness outside of me. And for not desperately trying to explain myself to people.  Although there were times that I fell apart and almost broke down, out of devastation.

So for the 1000th times, I am down on that road again. The worst part of this, is that I can't forgive. And of course, they are not sorry. But I know that I have to forgive, anyway, in order to move on and to be at peace again. But that's the problem. Forgiveness is not really my forte. I just don't know how to do it. I remember things, although on the surface, they don't look like they're bothering me. But they just do. *cry*

There were people in the past that I took years to forgive. And I don't want to waste that much of time anymore for people who are so not worth it. Maybe I just need to cut them out of my life. For good. I don't know.

Haishh, serabut perut, orang tranung kate.

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