Yesterday was everything that had always made me questioned myself. Questions like, the reason of my existence in this world, blablabla😔But I’d rather not write all those questions down. It’s not healthy, I know. So, anyways, among those that made me feel like hell, somehow, there were goodness out of nowhere, when I expected the worst to come.
Bila orang lain buat arrangement yang aku kena handle tapi aku tak aware of the consequences, dan buatkan aku terpaksa went against all odds. Kena marah dengan ramai orang due to the arrangement (which was made by others), ditambah dengan last minute bail-out, nak kena arrange new person in charge in such a short notice. Lepas tu nak kena buy time, which was not easy for someone who doesnt like to talk like me.
Almost every person I called scolded me, some even just hung up on me. But I didnt cry. I had no time to cry yesterday. Masa tu cuma fikir macam mana nak setelkan benda tu je.
And when I said sorry to the person who’s primarily affected by the whole cazy and stupid arrangement, guess what he said? “Don’t worry about it. You orang baik, I appreciate your time”
Well, I’m crying by the time I’m writing this. Masa tu memang rasa comforted bila dapat dengar perkataan yang baik-baik after some harsh ones. Because that was exactly what I needed at the moment. No, not the pujian or appreciation, just some undertanding. He had every reason to be upset and mengamuk, but he chose not to. Big respect.
Bila type ni barulah rasa sebak. Sampainyalah hati diorang tu semua. Huhu. Entahlah, aku pun malas nak fikir sangat pasal orang-orang yang marah-marah aku padahal aku pun dalam keadaan tersepit jugak. Tak pelah, aku tak nak pikir pasal diorang dah. Sebab di sebalik orang- orang yang disrespectful tu, Allah turunkan lebih ramai orang yang baik-baik, yang helpful, easy-going dan menyenangkan urusan aku. Alhamdulillah. Sobsob, sebak lagi..
Selain individu yang aku sebut kat atas tu, ada satu team yang senang sangat nak bekerjasama bila aku mintak support dari diorang. Sekali call je terus datang, tak ada banyak songeh macam team yang lagi satu. Sampai aku rasa macam, eh, biar betul? Aku doakan Allah permudahkan urusan mereka yang memudahkan urusan orang lain.
“If you keep thinking too much of what’s bad, you might end up losing what’s good” -Good Witch-
Yes, I should always keep this in mind. It’s not even worth it to keep thinking about the bad people who hurts you without feeling any guilt.
I guess, I found a little comfort in telling myself that - if people treat you like trash, that is actually a reflection of themselves. Period.
Owh, speaking of Good Witch, season 4 dah keluar kat Netflix. Yeayyy! Bolehlah marathon cuti 4 hari ni.
Which is absolutely true. People would assume they know what’s in your heart based on how you choose to appear on the outside. And as for me, I dont like drama. And I’m bad at expressing myself. And I dont like explaining myself too much.
Most of the times I just go along with what people assume about me. That is much easier and saves up a lot of energy, at least for me. Because dealing with the truth, especially of my own failure is really, really exhausting.
I did cry inside, but I just laughed it out. Well, this feeling of failing at something is not funny, and it’s far from happy. But like they say, somethings are really better left unsaid.
Been wanting to watch this movie as soon as it was released. But my husband didn’t really want to watch it. And after I tolerated his choice of Hotel Transvylnia (macam salah je eja ni), he finally agreed to watch Skyscraper.
Baru sedar yang aku minat The Rock rupanya hahaha. Sebab setakat ni, semua movie dia yang aku tengok, watak dia mesti kelakar, no matter how intense the storyline is.
Walaupun husband aku tidur masa tengok movie ni, aku tetap nak bagi 4 bintang. Sebab aku suka elemen kekeluargaan tu dan the futuristic design of the tower.