Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Some Battlefield

All that there is to feel
in this battlefield
is loneliness;

Not having a side to pick,
it feels exactly like homeless.

Not having a place to stay,
it feels exactly like no friends.

Even the feelings feel out of sides;
  out of places.

There’s no home in a battlefield;
there’s no friends in a battlefield.

And the worst part is,
that this is not even my battle;

but here I am,
and alone in this chaos.

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate. I’m just trying to be ‘creative’ here 😝😝 ✌🏽

Tuesday, January 1, 2019


This would be the first post for 2019 although I didn’t do any proper goodbye for 2018, sebab malam tadi tertidur kepenatan huhu.

Azam tahun baru? To be honest, I’m still working on it eheh. Masih listing down apa nak achieve in 2019. For 2018, some was achieved, some was not.

Yang paling aku ingat - in 2018 aku finally dapat offer at dua company yang aku dah lama nak dari zaman mula-mula kerja dulu. Been attending interviews for the companies since 2007 seingat aku, and finally, after fouth and third interview, dapat jugak offer.

Enough about 2018, it was already yesteryear.

And as the cliche goes - cepatnya masa berlalu.

Happy new year, everyone, have a wonderful one ❤️

Saturday, December 15, 2018

The Berry Story

I told him when we were strolling out of Aeon that day, that I was out of cranberries stock.

No you’re not, he answered confidently.

I repeated my statement, firmly, told him I ate them all in the office when he assumed that I must’ve thrown them away.

Back at home, he found a pack of blueberries inside the refrigerator, showed them to me and told me I was lying about finishing the berries.

I laughed instantly. I said “Cranberries, not blueberries

So yeah, communication is key.

Saturday, December 1, 2018

What The Boss Said

My ex-boss once told me that I underestimated myself. Well, you know what, boss, that’s not news eheh. I’ve been living my whole life doing that, I guess. I wish I could change that part of me, but again and again I’m back at that place where I doubt myself, look down on me and underestimate myself. I know, I’m actually my biggest bully.. sobs.

I consider myself a ‘damaged soul’, which according to my husband, it would take a developed-country-psychiatric to figure me out. And as twisted as my mind can be, I do take that as a compliment, haha. But anyways, I think bits by bits I’m trying to recover. Sometimes I managed, sometimes I didn’t. But all in all, I grew, I guess.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018


Dah lama tak ke salon rambut. The truth is, I always feel uneasy about the idea of going to all sorts of beauty care, be it spa, hair salon and whatnot. The main reason is because of my low self-esteem, so I don’t like it when people go highlighting all of my flaws that I am already full aware of. Which leads to the second reason - due to the ‘defects’ it would be so easy for the masseuse or hairsylist to promote their services/products. Which annoyed me like hell. Argghh. 

Weekend lepas sempat curi masa kejap pergi potong rambut, and as I expected, yang potong rambut tu ‘analyzed’ my hair and promoted lah segala mala  service/product yang diorang ada. No surprise there. Tapi tak tahan mendengarkan the prices. Semua harga RM300 and above. Selamba je bagitahu harga sekian sekian macam benda tu perkara biasa. Haha. Memang tak lah nak ambik pakej treatment seribu lebih tu.

Rasanya kalau beli produk bodyshop dan buat semua sendiri okay kot. I mean untuk rakyat marhaen macam aku. Okaylah, tu je nak bebel.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Aging Factor

Entah kenapa hari ni tersentap pulak dengan statement pasal orang tua-orang muda ni. Mungkin faktor usia, eheh.

Yang sebetulnya aku selalu ada kerisauan bab-bab dressing, sebab aku mostly masih stick to the same old dressing style like when I was in my early 20’s. Masih pakai jeans, tshirt, sneakers, and my bags collection pun masih sama style macam zaman study dulu. Haha, bila taip ni rasa macam selekehnya lah makcik ni. Berbalik isu risau tadi - risau takut nampak macam orang tua tak sedar diri dressing macam budak-budak. Gitu. Tapi selalunya aku sedapkan hati, asalkan tutup aurat dan kita sendiri selesa dalam pakaian tu, lantaklah apa orang nak kata kan?

Isu sentap tadi ada kaitan dengan perihal dressing ni. Tapi contradicted sungguh dengan kerisauan aku selama ni. Aku malas nak taip panjang-panjang pasal tu, cuma nak point out the point yang aku boleh pulak ‘tersentap’ dengan statement orang pasal ‘dressing orang muda-orang tua’. 

Nampak sangat makcik dah tua, dah cepat sentap. Haishhh..

Okay, tak de point sungguh post ni, makcik saja nak membebel (in a subtle way-lah konon). Sekian bebelan.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The Forsaken

I care too much
about you
about them
about everyone
about everything
else, but me

**malas pulak nak pi cari dan tepek disclaimer 😅