Thursday, March 16, 2017

Of Forgiveness

Something happened recently. Something that made me think "Ada jugak orang macam ni dalam dunia ni"

Mostly the feeling is angry, apart of that 'unbelievable' feeling.

I hate dramas. All my life, that's what I avoid the most. Even if sometimes, it means - giving in. Somewhere deep down, for everything that people did to me, I have faith that Allah knows and will someday reveal the truth. Alhamdulillah, that's all I can say. For the patience and rational thoughts inside of me. And for the calmness outside of me. And for not desperately trying to explain myself to people.  Although there were times that I fell apart and almost broke down, out of devastation.

So for the 1000th times, I am down on that road again. The worst part of this, is that I can't forgive. And of course, they are not sorry. But I know that I have to forgive, anyway, in order to move on and to be at peace again. But that's the problem. Forgiveness is not really my forte. I just don't know how to do it. I remember things, although on the surface, they don't look like they're bothering me. But they just do. *cry*

There were people in the past that I took years to forgive. And I don't want to waste that much of time anymore for people who are so not worth it. Maybe I just need to cut them out of my life. For good. I don't know.

Haishh, serabut perut, orang tranung kate.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Tanya Sama Itu Hud-Hud

"Lihat dunia dari mata sang burung
Ataupun dari dalam tempurung
Yang mana satu engkau pilih"

-Tanya Sama Itu Hud-Hud, M.Nasir-

On a personal note, I just want to say this. And this only.

Rendahkan hati untuk melihat sesuatu perkara dari perspektif orang lain.
Bukan semua benda di dalam dunia ini hanya berkisar tentang diri kita.


Humble yourself to see things from others' perspective.
You'll be surprised on how this world doesn't only resolve around you.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Random Bitterness

I'm being bitter today.

All the hype about the Woman's Day - well, I just don't give damn.
Entah-entah ni semua dakyah nak buat perempuan-perempuan shopping sempena Woman's Day.

Hmm.. Dah tak ada idea pulak nak bebel apa.
Owh, ada.

Nowadays, I don't feel like 'membebel' on FB anymore. I guess, it's too open out there. Plus, I don't feel comfortable when people making fun of what I wrote online. But I'm putting it all behind. It's okay. I just need to put some limit, that's all.

Recently I finally got to watch Kurt Cobain - Montage of Heck. Well, to me it's disturbing despite knowing that he was a tortured soul. But still, thanks Mr. Kurt Cobain for all the songs that I grew up with.

Okay, enough of the bitterness.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Keeping Track of Life

One thing about keeping a journal is that - it helps you keeping track of who you were and who you've become.

Sometimes, while growing up you forgot that once you were just a kid. A raw soul. A naive dreamer. A rebel without a cause. 

And along the way, life happens and it changes you. A part of you is missing, like a stranger you never knew. You've become someone you never thought of becoming. 

But once in a while you get to re-visit the old you. It's good to sometimes get in touch with the bricks that build you. 

In that regard, I am thankful for this blog. Although I might have written things that I am not proud of, but hey, I was that 'kid'. And that's okay.  Everyday is a learning curve.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Mother Figure?

This happened last year. I drafted this post the day it happened but didn't finish it. So now I'm posting it. Here goes..

I went to shaklee to stock up some vitamins. Once I was done with the purchase, I went out. Oh, btw, the door was securely locked,there a was a guard in charge to unlock the door every time people coming in and going out of the premise.

I noticed this one boy went out, too, alone, at the same time I got out.  I wondered at that instant "where is he going?" He walked very close to me and I started to think "is this boy following me?"

When i reached my car, he was there too, so it was obvious that he did follow me. I asked him "Where are you going? Where's your mom?" but he just looked at me and then looked away, looking so lost. He didn't say anything but his face looked as if he was just waking up from sleep or maybe under coughing syrup influence or something.

I know, I'm a bit slow. Only after a few seconds later I kinda figured out what just happened. He must had mistakenly thought me as his mom - may be that was why he followed me.

So I ushered him back to Shaklee. The guard waving at him to come in back once he saw us. Behind the guard was a woman. That must've been the mother.

I immediately left after his mom saw him. I just couldn't stop thinking what if the boy followed the wrong person? Nauzubillah.

Please be extra careful dear parents out there.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Me and Touch-screen Phone

I always knew it that me and touch-screen handphone will never get along well *sigh. 

I cracked the screen of my previous phone - TWICE. It costed RM550 to replace the screen the first time. 3 months later, it cracked on me again. So, of course, that second time, baik beli handphone baru jelah (although i really fell in love with that Z Ultra so much).

And yesterday (it has not been even one year yet), I spilled a bottle of minyak angin on the phone. This morning i found the screen was not responding to swiping anymore.

In times like this, I miss my old Blackberry Torch so much. I miss the keypad, the durability (even when it's smashed to the wall), the times that it served me for 3 years.

I don't fancy all these sleek and edgy modern phone which keeps failing on me. Jatuh sikit dah tak boleh function. Lembik! Stress makcik! 

Haha. Yup, the blaming game can continue forever when actually  it's these butterfingers of mine. 

This klutz really needs something from the stone age 

*sigh and cry. 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Times New Roman

I read an article from LinkedIn about what's not to include in a resume.

Surprisingly, one of the point is: to use new (world order) font. Such as Arial. Okay, that's fine. And then the article stated 'do not use Times New Roman as it's OUTDATED and OLD-FASHIONED' 😥

Which makes me feel VERY very old. During my final year report time, our supervisors and lecturers did emphasize on using the correct font which is either Arial and Times New Roman.

And how now, Times New Roman is not relevant anymore??


Yup. That's how an article about RESUME can spoil your day.