Friday, November 17, 2017

Cry-on-prayer-mat Kind of Pain

I don't know about others, but as for me, the pain of hurting others is way more unbearable than being hurt. It was a feeling that was hard to live with. 

Semoga kita semua tidak tergolong dalam golongan yang menyakiti.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Not A Drama Queen

If you hurt me
I'll avoid you
     at all costs

If you don't need me
I'll leave you

If you’re being ridiculous
I'll stay away
     as far as I could

So call me a quitter all you want
the truth for me is simple
I just don't do drama

So don't flatter yourself too much
you won't wake this sleeping lion up
because my peaceful sleep
is more worthy than your bullshit

I choose my battle selectively
and I don't deal with stupidity.

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Happens Everyday

I managed to finish reading this book in less than 5 days. To me, it’s such an accomplishment 🙄

Aku tak ingat bila dan kat mana aku beli buku ni. But looking at the yellow-ish pages, I’m sure it was more than 3 years ago. And based on the price label (harga RM18 😏), it’s from AEON, which makes me wonder, sejak bila AEON ada book department ni?

This book is written by Isabel Gillies. She was a former actress, was in Law&Order TV series (tapi aku tak pernah tengok series tu). Her writing reminds me so much of Susan Mayer, the character of  Desperate Housewives - devastated and funny at the same time.

It's about phases in her marriage and divorce. Sebenarnya cerita dia sedih, tapi disebabkan cara dia selalu describe seseorang, sesuatu atau tempat tu yang membuatkan gaya penceritaan dia kelakar. So I think it balances out the sadness.

There's one part - she mentioned about her mother who likes to use certain French words because it's more descriptive. Well, I think so, too, about Bahasa Indonesia.

And one interesting info I learn is that how some of the tall women somehow envy and feels insecure over petite women. Which in our (petite women) perspective, all we want are those long legs. Haha. In this case, Isabel is a tall woman, while 'the other woman' is a petite-figured woman.

On a serious note, in her book she openly talked about 'the other woman', the reason why her husband left her. So, in a way, I 'understand' now why the other woman IS the other woman. Because they are cold and heartless. They only care about themselves, nothing can change their mind; not the idea of wrecking someone's family, not the brokenhearted little kids, and of course, not the tears of a wife. At one point, Isabel did kneel to that ‘other woman’ to stop stealing her husband, but still, it didn't stop the other woman from pursuing her mission 😡😡😡

She described the way she dealt with the calamity which she tried everything she could to save her marriage until there was nothing she can do anymore. And then she slowly accepted her fate that her husband was really leaving her, went back to her parent's house with her two kids, took her time to grieve, took every help that she can get and lived one day at a time. And like every other sad story, the tough times eventually passed.

And I love what she wrote about being sad versus being angry. I always think sad is such a soft feeling, while anger is the opposite. Anger is a strong and heavy feeling, so to me,  it’s more difficult and complicated to handle a situation with that feeling, compared to being sad.

For the last part of her book, she even provided questions and points to be discussed in the book clubs. Menarik betullah budaya book club ni. Kat Malaysia bila nak sampai trend tu ye? Ke dah ada, aku yang tak tahu?

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Facebook Status (Part II)


The stories are not happily ever after.
But the stories are written by Allah.
Ever after or not, Allah knows best.
(Some stories doesn't have happily-ever-after ending.
But the stories are written by Allah.
Ever after or not, Allah knows best)


People live in denial because it's always easier to believe the comforting lies rather than an unbearable truth.


New year.
Looking back - it's amazing what CAN and CAN'T happen in a year.
Life goes on, anyways.


Behind a successful man is a very mentally and emotionally strong woman.


Facebook is becoming a place where people generalize their private issue. In order to tell that very someone in specific, we just have to tell the whole world in general.


I always feel that something is not right when the strong ones (read: men) are always excused for house chores.
What the strength is for, after all?


Making a scene in public is not cool.
Meroyan in media social is not cool, either.
BUT having affair with someone's husband?
Beyond 'not cool'.


Justification doesn't make a wrong right.
And the fact that it needs justification actually answer itself.
Because if it's the right thing to do, you'll just feel good about it.


Many people has greatness in them.
Only a few with goodness.


It takes a real man to handle a difficult woman.


I get really confused sometimes.
Why do some of us make fun of old people just because they're old?
I thought EVERYONE OF US gets old, too, eventually?
Well, unless, if you die young.


It's a world full of scam and hoax.
I wonder where do I stand (or fall) among them.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Random Act of Kindness #3

Aku memang banyak kejadian kat Jusco nampaknya.

Kali ni masa nak bayar parking dekat Autopay Machine tu. Dalam purse masa tu ada not RM50 sekeping dan beberapa syiling semata-mata.   Dalam kepala aku mencongak-congak; rasanya tak sampai sejam kot aku kat dalam ni jadi tak payah bayar parking. 

Tapi rupanya lebih sejam, so aku pun masukkanlah  Aeon card yang mana sepatutnya dapat lagi free parking for  the next one hour. Tapi card is unreadable pulak. Aku cuba masukkan syiling tapi slot untuk syiling tu macam kena blocked or stuck with something. Next, aku cuba cari butang cancel nak keluarkan balik tiket parking tu sementara nak pergi dapatkan bantuan RM1, tapi tak ada pulak butang yang seumpamanya. Sudah! Orang queue kat belakang makin ramai, tadi tak ada orang pun.

And fortunately, uncle yang tengah queue belakang aku hulur duit RM1. Aku tanya dia holeh tak aku bayar dia balik pakai syiling tapi dia kata tak payah.

Thank you, Uncle. You see, even one buck of kindness means so much when you are stucked in front of the autopay machine!


Thursday, November 9, 2017


Entah macam mana boleh ternampak buku ni kat explore Instagram. Being a Grey's Anatomy fan, I straightaway felt like I must have this book. Lagipun aku nak jugak tahu gaya penulisan seorang doktor.

Bila selidik, rupanya dijual dekat MPH je. Aku tak tahu mana nak cari MPH terdekat selain dalam airport. Dan memandangkan dah tak kerja area airport maka tak adalah pergi berpeleseran dalam airport tu lagi. Maka order online saja.

It ranked No.1 on MPH'S Bestsellers ranking. And most importantly, is the cheapest among the 20 books *ehehe

Lepas 2 hari order, dia pun sampai. But it has to get in line for its turn to be read, queue tengah panjang. Yeah, I know, perasaan berkobar tu masa belum dapat je, bila dah dapat, terus drop, like 100%.

Facebook Status (Part I)

Before I went on deactivating my FB, I took some (crazy) effort to copy my statuses from the beginning. Memang macam tak de kerja, but I actually feel very attached to each of them, because sometimes they just pop-up in my mind out of nowhere, so I must 'preserve' them somewhere that is not deactivated. Of course-lah boleh je re-activate balik FB tu on and off, but, let's not do that eheh.

While going through my old posts, I think, deactivating FB is really a right decision. Entah apa-apa aku mengarut dulu-dulu kat situ, haishh 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sekarang kalau ada quote yang tiba-tiba pop-up dalam kepala, aku letak kat sini je @mygoldpen

So, after finding and filtering, here are some of it:

Although i am not an emotional person, that doesn't mean i have no emotion.


I don't wave the flag
Or be presence at the merdeka parade
But that does not make me a non-patriotic Malaysian.


All I need is a nightmare.
To wake me up.


I am not paranoid.
I just don't know what to do.


"Some things are better left unsaid"
(but please read my mind)


Don't judge me.
You don't even know my shoe size.
What makes you think you can fit in it?


I want to be a good person.
But all I am is just a rational freak.


The reason why most people can't see is because they don't care.


It's not lost.
It's not forgotten.
It's subsconscious-ed.


Sometimes we forget to count the blessings when we are too busy being miserable.


I don't know what to do anymore.
Maybe because I still don't know what to do.


It's when we close our eyes that we feel our heart.
But life requires us to open them to see reality.
Whatever, whatever.


What's the point of trying to try harder when you actually don't even want it anymore. 


There's a HUGE difference between being ego and being upset.
Just so you know.


Don't judge people by their facebook profile.
What's on the wall is only their alter ego.

The worst part is not being trapped.
The worst is believing that there is no way out.


I am not comfortable with people worrying too much about me.
It makes me worry even more.