Life Lesson from A Betrayal Part II

Terima kasih tikam aku dari belakang,

di waktu aku melawan kata hati aku,

menidakkan kemungkinan kamu memiliki pisau.

Tertipu aku,

dengan kata hati sendiri yang memuliakan kamu;

dengan kamu yang berupa seorang sahabat.

Terima kasih atas pelajaran ini,

aku tak akan lupa sampai mati.

The Ignorance

I choose to ignore,

not because I dont want to heal;

But dealing with it

would be more painful than the pain itself.

Some Battlefield

All that there is to feel

in this battlefield

is loneliness;

Not having a side to pick,

it feels exactly like homeless.

Not having a place to stay,

it feels exactly like no friends.

Even the feelings feel out of sides;

  out of places.

There’s no home in a battlefield;
there’s no friends in a battlefield.

And the worst part is,
that this is not even my battle;

but here I am,
stuck,
and alone in this chaos.

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate. I’m just trying to be ‘creative’ here 😝😝 ✌🏽

The Forsaken

I care too much

about you

about them

about everyone

about everything

else, but me

.

**malas pulak nak pi cari dan tepek disclaimer 😅

Please Don’t Fade Away

Sometimes it seems

there are not enough memories

to remember things by

And the sadder part is,

even memories fail at times

I don’t want to forget,

so please don’t fade away.

How About

How about
   running carefreely when time freezes?
And how about
    standing still in the middle of chaos?


How about
     beating the odds
   and coming through stronger, anyway?

How about that?

Pray For Me

If you ever pray for me,

I hope 

you don’t just pray for me

             strength

Please pray for me

       wisdom, too

Because;

I don’t want to be 

strong and stupid;

or,

strong and arrogant

I want to be

strong and wise.

Pretentious..Not

What if people don't pretend that they are good?

What if they were really good and become not-so-good under certain circumstances?

In that case or another, no good would ever come from hatred. Don't you think?

Dear Memories

Dear memories,

why do you have to be all dark and sad?

I want to remember something nice,

something that doesn’t consist of “You disappoint me”,

or end in “I have to go”,

or both.

I want to remember something colorful

under the sun.

I want to remember the sound of laughter

on a breezy day by the seaside.

Why can’t I remember something like that?

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate. I’m just trying to be ‘creative’ here 😝😝 ✌🏽

The Stolen Voice [Extended Version]

I used to be someone with a voice

a happy voice

a curious voice

and a bit of a noisy voice,

                 so I was told.

And I believed it when you told me

        to shut up

that I must be distracting,

I must be annoying.

So I shut my mouth ever since

believing that my words were not necessary,

not important.

Because all I wanted to do then

was doing the right thing

And you made me believe

being quiet is one

I had lost my voice

since the days you told me to shut up

And then I grew up

struggling to find my voice back

when there was so much that I wanted to say,

when I needed to stand up for myself.

but I just can’t find it back

I never have found it back

All I could remember was how you told me

to “Shut up”

I think you stole my voice

along with my self-esteem.


Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate. Just trying to be ‘creative’ here 😝😝 ✌🏽

The Complicated One

If you ever truly understand yourself,

maybe, just maybe;

you'd also understand,

how much of your intricacy

has hurt many.

If, and only if
you understand.

Semoga

semoga;

di suatu hari nanti 

kau akan ketemu damai di hati

dan semoga;

bila bersih jiwamu
tak kau perlu lagi

merosak aman 

di jiwa yang lain.


Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Anxiety Doesn’t Knock First

“I lied and said I was busy.

I was busy;

but not in a way most people understand.

I was busy taking deeper breaths.

I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.

I was busy calming a racing heart.

I was busy telling myself I am okay.

Sometimes, this is my busy -

and I will not apologize for it”

-b.oakman-

Something about anxiety disorder. Kadang-kadang orang tak faham dan terus cakap “ Mengada”, “Buat-buat sakit”, “Nak perhatian” blablabla.

Trust me, attention is the last thing you want when the panic attacks.

Just don’t judge if you’re not in their shoes. 

I Love You Not

I love you

not with every beat of my heart

I love you

not like the air I breathe

but I love you

with my mind open.

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Situasi

Situasi yang selalu bagi aku:

Nak jaga hati orang,
nak buat benda yang betul

Tapi pada akhirnya,
aku yang terkena.

Dan paling sedih,
macam biasa,
aku tak mampu pun
nak pertahan diri sendiri.


“Ketidakadilan”,
 kata hati


“Kebodohan”,
kata akal.

Not Stupid

I was upset at first
so upset I wanted to cry and cry

and cry

But right on the next instant
I’ve come around
and realized

It was not too big of a deal
it was not even something that I want
why would I cry over it
like it meant so much?

I shouldn’t be so hard on myself

It’s okay not to know

I am not stupid
I just haven’t learnt yet.




Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Of Limitation and Intimidation

The things that I think I’ll never be good at
are  the things that I want to be good at,
the most.

I wonder,
is there really such thing as limitations?
or is it something like self-intimidation?

or perhaps
I can call it,
self-protection?

when the voices within telling me
not to try too hard
to spare myself
from the possibility of devastation.

Yes, I figured it’s nothing more
than just self-esteem;
a troubled one.



Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Yang Kurang

Aku orang yang tak akan pernah bertanya
“Di mana kurangnya aku?”

kerana aku selalu dan terlalu sedar
bahawa aku adalah kekurangan

Dan jika aku harus bertanya,

Soalanku,
“Sudah jelikkah kamu dengan kurangnya aku?”


Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate 😝😝

The Consequences

If you don’t take control of your life today;
one day,
you’ll be paying for the consequences
of your own neglectance.

Don’t let your life in the hands of others,
sometimes the most reliable person
can still fail you.

Because the future is still yours to live,
take charge of it,
every single detail of it.

The Ultimate Fool

The truth is,

deep inside

you knew.

And it’s not the lies of others

that blinded you;

but your denial.

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate 😝😝