The Media Social in Dark Blue

I activated my Facebook recently, stayed active for a while - added a few new friends and even posted a “What’s On Your Mind” thing (why don’t I just say ‘post a status’ 🙄), and owh, not to mention all the stalking to ‘catch up’ and ‘keep up’ with.

*sigh. Spent Wasted such a good time there.

So, I guess it really is not for me anymore. I’m better off without it.

What We Read

Someone once mocked the choice of books that I read. At that time, I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know what was she thinking, to ridicule someone who’s already with low self-esteem like that. Maybe someone ‘strong’ like her doesn’t need those kind of books, because maybe she feels so content with herself. Although I think, a normal happy person doesn’t go around making other people miserable, right?

But today, after years of reading SELF-HELP books, it actually teaches and trains me on how to talk to myself. And most importantly, how to filter the thoughts that goes on my mind. Like when someone makes such hurtful and rude remark, in a way, there is a filtering system that won’t allow that to reside in me. The trick is, you need to let go of that as soon as you can, because once you indulge the bad feelings, sometimes it stays for years.

But of course, it’s an ongoing process because the filter is not automatically always there.

Typical Streotype

I guess we all know how typical and streotype drama Melayu, especially drama bersiri can be. If you have to watch, all you need to watch is the first, maybe one episode in the middle and the final episode, you will have the idea of what the whole 30 episodes are really about. You won’t feel like you’re missing anything.

But, to be fair, it is actually the same thing with Hollywood movies, especially the rom-com movies. It is somehow predictable, too. Well, most of it.

Boy meets girl, fall in love, always for the similar reasons as below

• If they finish each other’s sentence
• If they share common taste in music or movies or food, etc etc
• If they have the exact same idea of something

But that 3 streotypes are strictly about romantic comedy movies only. As for TV series, they are not so predictable. Although sometimes for action and thriller movies, they are pretty predictable, too.

On a quite different note, I’m currently watching Santa Clarita Diet. Adoii, as much as it’s disturbing, I can’t wait to find out what’ll happen next. Yes, it’s too bloody (literally), so I’ll avoid eating while watching. Hopefully there’ll be Season 3.

Hypothetically

This one is going to be very subtle. 

Aku tak naklah menyentuh sensitiviti mana-mana pihak. Lagipun ini cuma based on my observation, seperti dalam senario-senario yang tersebut di bawah. Dan aku pun tak berminat nak huraikan lebih-lebih. 

Sebenarnya aku dah lama perasan, cuma ini lebih menguatkan lagi apa yang aku perasan.

Ada tiga senario (yang aku harap bukan aku sorang je yang perasan). Tapi entahlah. Aku pun tak tahu sebenarnya di mana duduknya kebanyakan kita di bumi Malaysia ni. 

Scenario 1:

Just recently. At some taxing agency regarding taxing thing.

Scenario 2:

Recent Job Openings in one of the popular job portal.

Scenario 3:

Ini dah lama (lebih kurang 3 years ago). Masa tu pergi agensi yang sama dalam senario 1, hal yang lebih kurang sama jugak. Kebetulan masa tu ramai orang datang untuk program mengurangkan beban rakyat tu.

Sedih sebenarnya dengan situasi-situasi ni. Apa-apa pun, aku harapkan, dalam kita semua berjuang dengan cara kita sendiri, yang paling penting, aku harap kita semua tidak tersalah pilih perjuangan. 

Ikut rasa, binasa,

Ikut hati, mati.

Sedarlah sebenarnya, tiada lagi yang menjaga kepentingan kita. Dan itu sebenarnya bukanlah suatu  yang buruk sepenuhnya. Kerana kita tetap masih boleh berdiri di atas kaki sendiri. Kita hanya perlu SEDAR.

Of Sacrifice

Let’s talk about sacrifice.

In my own words, it’s giving away something you love to make something else works out. Or to make something else into a better condition than they're currently in.

And it has to be something you REALLY love or need, otherwise it wouldn’t be called sacrifice, would it?

But, imagine if you have one last bread for the day. And you are hungry. But you see someone looks hungrier than you are. Then you give up your last slice of bread because you think that someone needs it more. But ironically, you found out later that she/he doesn't even eat the bread simply because she/he doesn't like bread.

It's such a bummer to see that what we’ve sacrificed for, actually is not beneficial at all because the people receiving it actually has no intention of making use of it. 

It feels like we let go of something that we need - for nothing.

But I guess, at the end of the day, what others do with it, is no longer our concern. It’s not up to us anymore. We've done our part. And that's it. Don't feel bad for trying to be the kind.

Of Blue Tick

Or is it one word bluetick?

Honestly, I don’t understand why is this such a big deal? If you can’t stand being blueticked on, why don’t you just turn it off? 

I had it turned off the moment the feature’s released . Because knowing me, I don’t think I could commit into ‘replying as soon as you read’ kind of thing. I mean, it’s texting. If something is so very urgent, you don’t text. You call. But I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me. So far, I don’t have problem with not knowing whether people has read my messages or not. So I had spared myself the headache of ‘you read my messages but why are you not replying them?'

If I can change the setting for Whatsapp group, I would, too. But too bad, it's not doable at the moment.

And the same goes to that “Last Seen” feature. Just try turn it off, and you'll have so much peace of mind. 

So, there is no need to complicate your life when you can opt to ease it.

The Hidden Words

In this digital world today, everybody can express themselves and let their voice be heard to the entire world, if they want to.  The medium is free and somehow, effortless, too. You name it  - Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and the list goes on and on.

And then it comes down to the question, what matters?

Because, given the convenience, it does not matter anymore what one says. But what he does not. Don't you think?

Aurat dan Adab

I personally think that jaga aurat is not difficult. Lagi-lagi di zaman yang wearing niqab  and hijab is becoming a thing. Becoming a trend.

It's just a matter of NAK atau TAK NAK tutup.

...

Jaga hati - itu yang susah.

Jika sudah terpilih di kalangan yang menutup aurat dengan sempurna, janganlah DICEMUH mereka yang belum. Dekati, sayangi dan bimbing. Bukannya membenci.

Because again, jaga hati tu sangat susah.

#justsaying

#spreadlovenothate

The Standard of Beauty??

I've thought about this for some time already but I find it hard to put it into words.

Sesiapa yang sezaman dengan aku, agak-agak ingat tak di zaman remaja kita, semua orang nak kening nipis. Mana-mana ikon jelita zaman tu mesti berkening nipis dan halus (tak kisahlah semulajadi atau dicukur dan dilukis ke).

Sebab utama aku ingat ialah: kening aku tebal, maka aku terasa sungguh tak cantik masa tu, semacam sangatlah rendah diri. tapi tak adalah pergi cukur. In fact tak pernah mekap pun bahagian kening tu. Okay, tipu. Pernah, masa tunang dan kahwin, itu pun mak andamlah yang kerjakan kening aku masa tu.

Tapi tup-tup bila dah mencecah 3 series, aku perasan dah menjadi kegilaan wanita nak kening tebal pula. Tengok trend sekarang macam-macam tutorial kening nak lukis kening bagi nampak tebal pulak dah. Semua nak jeles dengan kening Elfira Loy tu. Serius aku tak faham. Kalau zaman 90’s dan 2000’s dulu memang kening macam tu orang orang takkan cakap cantik punyalah.

So, how to say it? Here we go..

Kening halus ke tebal ke, at some point, pada pandangan mata manusia, eventually, it will be 'IN TREND". It will be acceptable and even followed by many.  So the question is,  why do we have to fall victim into something that is so TEMPORARY and SEASONAL? Why do we have to adjust ourselves to suit that kind of standard? And again, like I once wrote in here, who sets the standard, anyway? 

Ada betulnya bila orang kata perempuan ni  semuanya cantik, no matter how you look. Terbukti dengan teori kening ni, cuma silapnya kita ni ikutkan sangat pandangan mata manusia yang penuh kekeliruan. Keliru dan tak perpendirian tetap. Like this trend of kening tebal yang menjadi kegilaan sekarang - 20 years ago, nobody found it beautiful. 

So, the point is really - tetaplah menjadi diri sendiri. We have to accept and love ourselves just the way we are. ( A reminder for myself first and foremost).

That’s all I have to say.

The Root of All Evil

Personally, I think it's the SELFISHNESS. It always start with this and eventually grows into hatred, greediness and violence.

And when we go on our life, thinking only ME, ME and ME;

"Why people always do this to ME?"

"How could people do this to ME?"

"Why can't I have this?"

"Why can't I be that?"

"People don't like ME."

"People don't care about ME."

"I am the victim."
“I am suffering”

"Nobody loves ME."
“Make me happy”
“Take care of me”

All of these self-obsession thoughts are not only destroying ourselves but also those people around us. How is it possible for us to feel love if we don't have it in our heart to begin with?

If we want to be loved, LOVE.

It won't matter how many times you look into the mirror if you see NOT of your own flaws.

Putih

First of all, I wonder, who defines the standard of beauty? And what qualifies them to set the standard?

I am writing not on behalf of those highly-esteemed people, but on the contrary. I know what it's like to grow up believing that you're NOT pretty. Don't tell me about 'beauty is only skin deep' kind of thing - I've read tonnes of that stuff to comfort myself. Well, sometimes it worked. But most of the times, it didn't. Because at the end of the day, it's always the pretty faces who get away with anything, get every task done first (since they have so many volunteers to help them with), get the job, and so on.. 

As long as I can remember, I was not jealous, But I was upset with how the world works.

But as I grew older, I've come to terms with that reality. That's just how the world works. People will go after what appeal to their eyes first.

And somehow I have this urge inside of me to change that sentiment. I don't know how to do that  but as for now, I'll just write it up first.

I remember when I was 15, I decided to focus on people's 'strength', hoping that people will look at me the same. There must be something unique in a person, even though as a whole, one may not look gorgeous like a supermodel. There must be something special about her. Maybe she has a nice smile, or  dimples, or beautifully aligned teeth, or almond-shaped eyes, nice long fingers, or soft long hair. Or you can go to personality wise; like a good humor, kind heart, pleasant personality, anything, anything at all. If you really look beyond typical appearance, you will find it. It works for me all these while. After I changed the way I look at people, I don't bother so much about my physical appearance anymore.

And I really hate to see that it is now acceptable in our community to promote white skin and thin body as the standard of 'beautiful'. I think in a way, it's a discrimination. I've come across some of my younger friends who commented on those whitening product in FB pages with the intention of buying them. Yes, they are not the 'white-skinned' type, but they are pretty just fine, if only they could see that themselves.

And that's the problem. I feel like we're being brainwashed by these beauty products' marketing strategy, promoting the so-called ideal of beauty. Like, if you want to be beautiful, you have to be putih dan kurus. And to be exposed to that idea 24/7, of course, it will get to us eventually.

And have you noticed our local celebrities who suddenly became fair and white? I really don't think it's such a healthy trend.  

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against putih and kurus girls. I think I fall into that category, too, only I'm not the good-looking one. Of course, MOST of them are really good-looking. But my point here is, that is not the ONLY kind of beauty. You can be sawo matang and hitam manis; and still looking good. The problem is the mindset of our community - who doesn't see that, who makes fun of the skin colors other than 'white'. Personally, to me, it's a sick kind of perspective.

But you have no idea how it affects the kids yang chubby, yang tak putih bila diejek-ejek? You have no idea what it does to their self-esteem. Somehow I know that feeling, as a teenager with pimples and scars on my face - it's very upsetting to be ridiculed like that. The insults could do damage to our emotion for a lifetime. Of course, I don't blame the kids yang mengejek, but in the first place, they should not have the idea of 'putih/kurus tu cantik'. And again, who's responsible for inculcating such idea into their raw mind?

Having said these, I really admire Adibah Noor and Sherry Al-hadad so much. They don't fit in our society's requirement of typical beauty but to me, they are wayy more gorgeous than those who do. They are confident, smart and funny - tell me, what's not beautiful about this?

The thing is, when someone wants to be white and fair, that should be his/her personal desire. It shouldn't be generalized. It shouldn't be advertised. It shouldn't be normalized.

If you're born fair and white, it's okay. And if you are not, it's okay, too.

After all, we are a bunch of geo-politically-Nusantara people , why would we want to look like a Caucasian?

Love and Its Complications

Ramai orang yang nak jadi orang yang paling disayangi. Tapi aku rasa, tak ramai yang peduli tentang amanah yang datang bersama dengan menjadi yang paling disayangi.

Kebanyakan kita cuma nak ‘faedah’ yang datang dengan menjadi yang paling disayangi. Boleh mintak apa saja, pasti akan tertunaikan. Boleh nak mengada-ngada, mesti ada yang layan. Sakit sikit, ada tempat nak mengadu dan bermanja. Sakit banyak apatah lagi.

Tapi kita sedar tak, kalau kita ni adalah yang paling disayangi antara ramai, maka hanya kita yang mampu menggembirakan hati orang yang sayang sangat dekat kita tu. 

Selalunya dia tak tunjuk pengharapan dia sebab terlalu sayangkan kita, jadi kita akan terus lalai, terlupa untuk menggembirakan dia.

Jadi bagi aku, tak mengapalah kalau tak terlalu disayangi sebab aku rasa aku tak mampu nak pikul amanah menjadi yang diharapkan dan menjadi yang menggembirakan. 

Ironing Board

Hari tu cuci mata dekat Lazada, ternampaklah iron board ni harga RM40. Murah gila. Sebenarnya dah lama nak beli ironing board tapi asyiklah bertangguh-tangguh. Aku pulak memang sejenis yang tak fussy, jenis yang belasah je, jadi tak kisah pun selama ni duk menggosok atas tilam je. Maka lepas sehari, seminggu, sebulan, setahun, bertahun.

Tapi setiap kali bila ada tetamu datang, tiap kali tulah jadi segan pulak jadinya bila tak ada ironing board. Nak suruh diorang menggosok atas tilam macam aku buat tu tak sampai hati sikit. Tu jelah the only reason that forced me to buy one.

Jadi dah jumpa kat online dengan harga murah, aku pun decided nak beli. Tapi tengok jugaklah Review Rating, Ada dalam 10 reviews. Dan ada dalam 4 bad reviews. Bila ada bad reviews, aku mula-mula terfikir nak cancel order je. Tapi on a second thought, setakat benda-benda remeh yang dalam bad review tu, compared to aku yang menggosok atas tilam je sebelum ni?

Dan lagi, harga RM40, takkanlah aku nak expect ironing board macam kat hotel 4,5 bintang tu pulak kan?

But don't get me wrong - the rating  and review thingy is important for online purchasing. But on a more general perspective in our daily life, bagi aku, tak perlulah terikut-ikut atau terpengaruh sangat dengan orang lain punya ketidakpuasan hati. 

So my point here is, sometimes, someone else's concern is not really relevant to us. So don't let the whining of others gets to us.

Contoh, bila kawan duk merungut-rungut time makan kat warung biasa; panaslah, banyak lalatlah. Kita yang selama ni tak ambik port pun benda-benda macam tu, bila dengar dia merungut-rungut macam tu, mulalah nak rasa rimas jugak. Jadi kenalah cepat-cepat slap some sense to ourselves - don't let other's opinion (or even worse, whining) spoil our mood, especially when it actually never bothered us before.

Lagi satu contoh, bila masuk kerja tempat baru. Ni memang selalu terjadi, memang akan ada orang-orang lama kat company tu yang akan cerita benda buruk-buruk je pasal company tu. Kadang bila hari-hari dengar benda macam tu, at some point, kita pun mulalah nak terpengaruh padahal kalau difikir-fikirkan, our previous company was not any better pun.

People will always complain and whine over everything and even nothing. So it's up to us to filter and to NOT get influenced by the negativity.

And owh, my ironing board arrived just fine.

So there, the philosophy of an ironing board 🧐.

Evolusi Tapau

So I guess, now we get to judge what do others tapau eheh 😏😏

It's transparent, using *PP material. I think it's more recycle-friendly, compared to **PS. Senang nak basuh. (Eh, korang basuh dulu tak bekas/bag plastik yang nak di- recycle tu?)

Tetiba aku teringat persoalan aku tentang recycle program kat malaysia ni. Dekat recycle center tu nanti mereka akan sort ke barangan plastik ni ikut jenis-jenisnya atau macam mana? Ada sesiapa tau?

*PP - polypropylene

**PS - polystyrene

Be Careful What You Wish For

"Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it"

Sometimes we do get what we wish for. BUT, it ALWAYS comes with a twist. And you end up wondering why doesn't it feel like a dream comes true?

The twists are those things that we often mis-look while wishing. So that's why they say, "BE CAREFUL". Because we don't see it coming along with our wishes.

But life is not supposed to be easy. Even having a wish granted can still be a hard thing.  

Facebook Status (Part II)

Sambungan.

The stories are not happily ever after.

But the stories are written by Allah.

Ever after or not, Allah knows best.

(Some stories doesn't have happily-ever-after ending.

But the stories are written by Allah.

Ever after or not, Allah knows best)

.

People live in denial because it's always easier to believe the comforting lies rather than an unbearable truth.

.

New year.

Looking back - it's amazing what CAN and CAN'T happen in a year.

Life goes on, anyways.

.

Behind a successful man is a very mentally and emotionally strong woman.

.

Facebook is becoming a place where people generalize their private issue. In order to tell that very someone in specific, we just have to tell the whole world in general.

.

I always feel that something is not right when the strong ones (read: men) are always excused for house chores.

What the strength is for, after all?

.

Making a scene in public is not cool.

Meroyan in media social is not cool, either.

BUT having affair with someone's husband?

Beyond 'not cool'.

.

Justification doesn't make a wrong right.

And the fact that it needs justification actually answer itself.

Because if it's the right thing to do, you'll just feel good about it.

.

Many people has greatness in them.

Only a few with goodness.

.

It takes a real man to handle a difficult woman.

.

I get really confused sometimes.

Why do some of us make fun of old people just because they're old?

I thought EVERYONE OF US gets old, too, eventually?

Well, unless, if you die young.

.

It's a world full of scam and hoax.

I wonder where do I stand (or fall) among them.

Facebook Status (Part I)

Before I went on deactivating my FB, I took some (crazy) effort to copy my statuses from the beginning. Memang macam tak de kerja, but I actually feel very attached to each of them, because sometimes they just pop-up in my mind out of nowhere, so I must 'preserve' them somewhere that is not deactivated. Of course-lah boleh je re-activate balik FB tu on and off, but, let's not do that eheh.

While going through my old posts, I think, deactivating FB is really a right decision. Entah apa-apa aku mengarut dulu-dulu kat situ, haishh 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sekarang kalau ada quote yang tiba-tiba pop-up dalam kepala, aku letak kat sini je @mygoldpen

So, after finding and filtering, here are some of it:

Although i am not an emotional person, that doesn't mean i have no emotion.

.

I don't wave the flag

Or be presence at the merdeka parade

But that does not make me a non-patriotic Malaysian.

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All I need is a nightmare.

To wake me up.

.

I am not paranoid.

I just don't know what to do.

.

"Some things are better left unsaid"

(but please read my mind)

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Don't judge me.

You don't even know my shoe size.

What makes you think you can fit in it?

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I want to be a good person.

But all I am is just a rational freak.

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The reason why most people can't see is because they don't care.

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It's not lost.

It's not forgotten.

It's subsconscious-ed.

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Sometimes we forget to count the blessings when we are too busy being miserable.

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I don't know what to do anymore.

Maybe because I still don't know what to do.

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It's when we close our eyes that we feel our heart.

But life requires us to open them to see reality.

Whatever, whatever.

.

What's the point of trying to try harder when you actually don't even want it anymore. 

.

There's a HUGE difference between being ego and being upset.

Just so you know.

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Don't judge people by their facebook profile.

What's on the wall is only their alter ego.

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The worst part is not being trapped.

The worst is believing that there is no way out.

.

I am not comfortable with people worrying too much about me.

It makes me worry even more.

.

The 'Mighty' Words

Don't indulge yourself too much on your current emotion. You might regret every word you say now while you're being overwhelmed with emotion. Especially when you're angry.

Angry people always say the 'stupidest' things.

And the worst part of it - the words are irreversible. Once it's said, you can't just take it back. Yes, you can apologize, but the pain that you've caused can't be undone.

So, be careful with words. You might deliberately say things to hurt someone TODAY, out of anger, out of rage.

But you'll never know what you might feel 10 years from now. Those words might haunt you back. The pain that you intentionally caused other people in the past, might be your biggest, intolerable regret one day.

You know what they say about regret; it lasts forever.

"Regret is a form of punishment itself"

 -Nourman Ali Khan-

Bimbo?

First of all, I'm curious - does the word 'bimbo' only associated to pretty face?

Second of all, I don't think anyone should ever address anyone else 'bimbo' as in intellectual capability. 

Especially not when you're the smart one.

Well, just saying.

Me,

Not-so-clever-girl.

Boy vs Man

I read somewhere about differences between a boy and a man. I thought I've printscreen-ed it, but too bad, I didn't.

But this is what I can remember:

A boy - focus on being served and provided

A man - focus on serving and providing

Aku terfikir, antara punca kepincangan institusi kekeluargaan dan masyarakat hari ini adalah disebabkan ini. Anak-anak muda tidak diasuh dan tidak dilatih untuk 'serve' dan 'provide'. Berapa ramai anak muda yang dari segi kudrat mental dan fizikal terlebih mampu untuk berdikari tetapi masih mengharapkan ihsan orang lain untuk hidup? Lebih 'pathetic', menyalahkan orang-orang sekeliling di atas pilihan hidup yang salah?

(**I emphasize on 'antara' because obviously, it is not the sole reason)

I believe this is among the 'WHYs' -  because our old boys refuse to grow up into a man. 

Jadi pesanku pada PEMUDA harapan bangsa;

Berhentilah merintih mengenang nasib dan menyalahkan semua orang dalam dunia.

Grow up and be a man. 

A real man.