Friday, December 15, 2017

23 Years Ago

Pagi tadi pergi breakfast dengan Mak dan Abah dekat area pasar pagi, terjumpa cikgu kelas 6 Melati masa sekolah rendah dulu - Cikgu Fazidahanim.

Mula-mula tak cam masa mak tegur dia sebab macam terset dalam kepala yang itu kawan mak, maka tak terfikir rupanya beliau tu orang yang aku kenal. Bila cikgu senyum, baru aku cam. Senyuman yang sama macam 23 tahun yang dulu.

Memang tak pernah jumpa dah lepas habis sekolah rendah. Memang aku tak pernah dah terserempak dengan cikgu-cikgu (or even kawan-kawan sekolah rendah aku). Mungkin sebab aku dah tak duduk Kemaman sangat sejak tu, dan setiap kali cuti sekolah dan cuti sem dulu aku duduk memerap je kat rumah, maka kebarangkalian nak terjumpa sesiapa tu tipis sangat. Dan sekarang ni walaupun dah rajin merayap bila balik kampung, aku rasa kalau terjumpa pun mungkin aku dah tak berapa nak cam. Dah lama sangat.

Tapi cikgu masih ingat aku, siap ingat tahun dia mengajar aku, dan aku dapat offer sekolah mana lepas sekolah rendah tu, terharu sungguh! Jasamu ku kenang sampai bila-bila, cikgu 😘😘



Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Tak Pandai

Aku tak pandai menjadi redha.
.
.
Tapi aku pandai menghilang
Menjauh dari yang menyakitkan.
.
.
Atau;

Itu pun cabangan redha?


Monday, December 4, 2017

Love and Its Complications

Ramai orang yang nak jadi orang yang paling disayangi. Tapi aku rasa, tak ramai yang peduli tentang amanah yang datang bersama dengan menjadi yang paling disayangi.

Kebanyakan kita cuma nak ‘faedah’ yang datang dengan menjadi yang paling disayangi. Boleh mintak apa saja, pasti akan tertunaikan. Boleh nak mengada-ngada, mesti ada yang layan. Sakit sikit, ada tempat nak mengadu dan bermanja. Sakit banyak apatah lagi.

Tapi kita sedar tak, kalau kita ni adalah yang paling disayangi antara ramai, maka hanya kita yang mampu menggembirakan hati orang yang sayang sangat dekat kita tu. 

Selalunya dia tak tunjuk pengharapan dia sebab terlalu sayangkan kita, jadi kita akan terus lalai, terlupa untuk menggembirakan dia.

Jadi bagi aku, tak mengapalah kalau tak terlalu disayangi sebab aku rasa aku tak mampu nak pikul amanah menjadi yang diharapkan dan menjadi yang menggembirakan. 

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Toleransi Sifar

Perihal nak bayar hutang.

Sambil  menunggu untuk dilayani, aku terbaca satu klausa di bawah artikel “Toleransi Sifar” atas meja bilik diskusi tu.  Aku tak ingat ayat penuh tapi lebih kurang “Pihak kami berhak untuk tidak melayan indidvidu yang berkelakuan kasar, mengeluarkan kata-kata kesat..”

Aku pun baca dengan nada sarkastik jelah memandangkan hari tu aku dah call 2,3 kali dan dah pergi ke  2 cawangan untuk selesaikan loan aku. Haishh, nak bayar hutang pun susah, tau.

Dan seperti dijangka, urusan aku tak dapat selesai hari tu pun memandangkan “It’s lunch time already”. Jadi diorang tak dapat confirmkan figure sebenar yang aku kena bayar untuk full settlement. Katanya, “petang ni atau esok kami akan call puan untuk maklumkan semula”. Hahaha, gelak jelah 🙄

Dan keesokan hari aku tunggu lah update seperti yang dijanjikan, tetapi seperti yang dijangkakan juga, tak ada sesiapa call aku pun. Maka terpaksalah aku yang call.

Pegawai yang mula-mula angkat tu memang sinis je nada percakapan dia, padahal aku tanya baik-baik, dengan nada paling naif sekali. Mula-mula aku sabar jelah, tapi bila makin menjadi-jadi, maka hilang jugaklah kesabaran. Tapi idoklah makcik mengeluarkan kata-kata kesat pun.

Aku malas lah nak mention institusi kewangan yang mana tu. Cuma nak remind diri aku next time janganlah berurusan kat sini lagi. 

Mentang-mentang ada ‘protection’ yang membenarkan diorang untuk tidak melayan sebarang kekasaran atau kata-kata kesat, maka diorang pun bolehlah menyindir-nyindir pelanggan dan bagi servis sesuka hati je ye?

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Ironing Board

Hari tu cuci mata dekat Lazada, ternampaklah iron board ni harga RM40. Murah gila. Sebenarnya dah lama nak beli ironing board tapi asyiklah bertangguh-tangguh. Aku pulak memang sejenis yang tak fussy, jenis yang belasah je, jadi tak kisah pun selama ni duk menggosok atas tilam je. Maka lepas sehari, seminggu, sebulan, setahun, bertahun.

Tapi setiap kali bila ada tetamu datang, tiap kali tulah jadi segan pulak jadinya bila tak ada ironing board. Nak suruh diorang menggosok atas tilam macam aku buat tu tak sampai hati sikit. Tu jelah the only reason that forced me to buy one.

Jadi dah jumpa kat online dengan harga murah, aku pun decided nak beli. Tapi tengok jugaklah Review Rating, Ada dalam 10 reviews. Dan ada dalam 4 bad reviews. Bila ada bad reviews, aku mula-mula terfikir nak cancel order je. Tapi on a second thought, setakat benda-benda remeh yang dalam bad review tu, compared to aku yang menggosok atas tilam je sebelum ni?

Dan lagi, harga RM40, takkanlah aku nak expect ironing board macam kat hotel 4,5 bintang tu pulak kan?

But don't get me wrong - the rating  and review thingy is important for online purchasing. But on a more general perspective in our daily life, bagi aku, tak perlulah terikut-ikut atau terpengaruh sangat dengan orang lain punya ketidakpuasan hati. 

So my point here is, sometimes, someone else's concern is not really relevant to us. So don't let the whining of others gets to us.

Contoh, bila kawan duk merungut-rungut time makan kat warung biasa; panaslah, banyak lalatlah. Kita yang selama ni tak ambik port pun benda-benda macam tu, bila dengar dia merungut-rungut macam tu, mulalah nak rasa rimas jugak. Jadi kenalah cepat-cepat slap some sense to ourselves - don't let other's opinion (or even worse, whining) spoil our mood, especially when it actually never bothered us before.

Lagi satu contoh, bila masuk kerja tempat baru. Ni memang selalu terjadi, memang akan ada orang-orang lama kat company tu yang akan cerita benda buruk-buruk je pasal company tu. Kadang bila hari-hari dengar benda macam tu, at some point, kita pun mulalah nak terpengaruh padahal kalau difikir-fikirkan, our previous company was not any better pun.

People will always complain and whine over everything and even nothing. So it's up to us to filter and to NOT get influenced by the negativity.

And owh, my ironing board arrived just fine.

So there, the philosophy of an ironing board 🧐.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Evolusi Tapau

So I guess, now we get to judge what do others tapau eheh 😏😏

It's transparent, using *PP material. I think it's more recycle-friendly, compared to **PS. Senang nak basuh. (Eh, korang basuh dulu tak bekas/bag plastik yang nak di- recycle tu?)

Tetiba aku teringat persoalan aku tentang recycle program kat malaysia ni. Dekat recycle center tu nanti mereka akan sort ke barangan plastik ni ikut jenis-jenisnya atau macam mana? Ada sesiapa tau?



*PP - polypropylene
**PS - polystyrene

Thursday, November 23, 2017

A Letter

"If you could write a letter to your younger-self, what would you write?"

So here is my letter:





Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Be Careful What You Wish For

"Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it"

Sometimes we do get what we wish for. BUT, it ALWAYS comes with a twist. And you end up wondering why doesn't it feel like a dream comes true?

The twists are those things that we often mis-look while wishing. So that's why they say, "BE CAREFUL". Because we don't see it coming along with the things that we wish for.

But life is not supposed to be easy. Even having a wish granted can still be a hard thing.  

Monday, November 20, 2017

Surprise, Surprise

Cerita lama.

Nak buat surprise masa balik kampung, kononnya tak nak bagitahu sesiapa. Tahu-tahu je sampai depan pintu rumah gitu, haa... Tapi fikir-fikir balik, kang nanti mak abah tiba-tiba balik KT, camno? Maka, bagitahu mak dan abah jelah.

Sedang elok balik hari Sabtu. Biasanya menurut mak, adik-adikku semua akan berkumpul kat rumah mak hari Sabtu. Jadi aku pesan kat Mak jangan bagitahu sesiapa. Biar terkejut semua hehe.

Jadi, ni apa yang Mak ceritakan balik kat aku; Mak bagitahu kat mereka yang ada dekat rumah Mak masa tu, nanti Mak ada surprise untuk semua.

Tapi aku sampai lewat, dah malam baru sampai , maka boleh bayangkan bertalu-talulah soalan anak cucu yang tak sabar tu pada Mak sepanjang hari:

Mana surprise? 
Apa surprise tu?

Haha, kesian Mak, jenuh nak menjawab.

Yang kelakarnya, masa Mak bagitahu diorang tu, anak buah aku, si Aisyah, siap berdoa. Doanya, "Ya Allah, semoga surprise Tok Ma tu adalah Tilong"

Alaa, sweet sangat.

Maka menjadilah jugak surprise tu. Balik pulak dengan kereta lain, bila bukak tingkap barulah budak-budak tu menjerit. Haha, patut ambik gambar diorang masa tu.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Cry-on-prayer-mat Kind of Pain

I don't know about others, but as for me, the pain of hurting others is way more unbearable than being hurt. It was a feeling that was hard to live with. 



Semoga kita semua tidak tergolong dalam golongan yang menyakiti.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Not A Drama Queen

If you hurt me
I'll avoid you
     at all costs

If you don't need me
I'll leave you
    immediately

If you’re being ridiculous
I'll stay away
     as far as I could

So call me a quitter all you want
the truth for me is simple
I just don't do drama

So don't flatter yourself too much
you won't wake this sleeping lion up
because my peaceful sleep
is more worthy than your bullshit

I choose my battle selectively
and I don't deal with stupidity.


Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Happens Everyday


I managed to finish reading this book in less than 5 days. To me, it’s such an accomplishment 🙄

Aku tak ingat bila dan kat mana aku beli buku ni. But looking at the yellow-ish pages, I’m sure it was more than 3 years ago. And based on the price label (harga RM18 😏), it’s from AEON, which makes me wonder, sejak bila AEON ada book department ni?

This book is written by Isabel Gillies. She was a former actress, was in Law&Order TV series (tapi aku tak pernah tengok series tu). Her writing reminds me so much of Susan Mayer, the character of  Desperate Housewives - devastated and funny at the same time.

It's about phases in her marriage and divorce. Sebenarnya cerita dia sedih, tapi disebabkan cara dia selalu describe seseorang, sesuatu atau tempat tu yang membuatkan gaya penceritaan dia kelakar. So I think it balances out the sadness.

There's one part - she mentioned about her mother who likes to use certain French words because it's more descriptive. Well, I think so, too, about Bahasa Indonesia.

And one interesting info I learn is that how some of the tall women somehow envy and feels insecure over petite women. Which in our (petite women) perspective, all we want are those long legs. Haha. In this case, Isabel is a tall woman, while 'the other woman' is a petite-figured woman.

On a serious note, in her book she openly talked about 'the other woman', the reason why her husband left her. So, in a way, I 'understand' now why the other woman IS the other woman. Because they are cold and heartless. They only care about themselves, nothing can change their mind; not the idea of wrecking someone's family, not the brokenhearted little kids, and of course, not the tears of a wife. At one point, Isabel did kneel to that ‘other woman’ to stop stealing her husband, but still, it didn't stop the other woman from pursuing her mission 😡😡😡

She described the way she dealt with the calamity which she tried everything she could to save her marriage until there was nothing she can do anymore. And then she slowly accepted her fate that her husband was really leaving her, went back to her parent's house with her two kids, took her time to grieve, took every help that she can get and lived one day at a time. And like every other sad story, the tough times eventually passed.

And I love what she wrote about being sad versus being angry. I always think sad is such a soft feeling, while anger is the opposite. Anger is a strong and heavy feeling, so to me,  it’s more difficult and complicated to handle a situation with that feeling, compared to being sad.



For the last part of her book, she even provided questions and points to be discussed in the book clubs. Menarik betullah budaya book club ni. Kat Malaysia bila nak sampai trend tu ye? Ke dah ada, aku yang tak tahu?

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Facebook Status (Part II)

Sambungan.



The stories are not happily ever after.
But the stories are written by Allah.
Ever after or not, Allah knows best.
(Some stories doesn't have happily-ever-after ending.
But the stories are written by Allah.
Ever after or not, Allah knows best)

.

People live in denial because it's always easier to believe the comforting lies rather than an unbearable truth.

.

New year.
Looking back - it's amazing what CAN and CAN'T happen in a year.
Life goes on, anyways.

.

Behind a successful man is a very mentally and emotionally strong woman.

.

Facebook is becoming a place where people generalize their private issue. In order to tell that very someone in specific, we just have to tell the whole world in general.

.

I always feel that something is not right when the strong ones (read: men) are always excused for house chores.
What the strength is for, after all?

.

Making a scene in public is not cool.
Meroyan in media social is not cool, either.
BUT having affair with someone's husband?
Beyond 'not cool'.

.

Justification doesn't make a wrong right.
And the fact that it needs justification actually answer itself.
Because if it's the right thing to do, you'll just feel good about it.

.

Many people has greatness in them.
Only a few with goodness.

.

It takes a real man to handle a difficult woman.

.

I get really confused sometimes.
Why do some of us make fun of old people just because they're old?
I thought EVERYONE OF US gets old, too, eventually?
Well, unless, if you die young.

.

It's a world full of scam and hoax.
I wonder where do I stand (or fall) among them.





Monday, November 13, 2017

Random Act of Kindness #3


Aku memang banyak kejadian kat Jusco nampaknya.

Kali ni masa nak bayar parking dekat Autopay Machine tu. Dalam purse masa tu ada not RM50 sekeping dan beberapa syiling semata-mata.   Dalam kepala aku mencongak-congak; rasanya tak sampai sejam kot aku kat dalam ni jadi tak payah bayar parking. 

Tapi rupanya lebih sejam, so aku pun masukkanlah  Aeon card yang mana sepatutnya dapat lagi free parking for  the next one hour. Tapi card is unreadable pulak. Aku cuba masukkan syiling tapi slot untuk syiling tu macam kena blocked or stuck with something. Next, aku cuba cari butang cancel nak keluarkan balik tiket parking tu sementara nak pergi dapatkan bantuan RM1, tapi tak ada pulak butang yang seumpamanya. Sudah! Orang queue kat belakang makin ramai, tadi tak ada orang pun.

And fortunately, uncle yang tengah queue belakang aku hulur duit RM1. Aku tanya dia holeh tak aku bayar dia balik pakai syiling tapi dia kata tak payah.

Thank you, Uncle. You see, even one buck of kindness means so much when you are stucked in front of the autopay machine!

#spreadlovenothate

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Breathe




Entah macam mana boleh ternampak buku ni kat explore Instagram. Being a Grey's Anatomy fan, I straightaway felt like I must have this book. Lagipun aku nak jugak tahu gaya penulisan seorang doktor.

Bila selidik, rupanya dijual dekat MPH je. Aku tak tahu mana nak cari MPH terdekat selain dalam airport. Dan memandangkan dah tak kerja area airport maka tak adalah pergi berpeleseran dalam airport tu lagi. Maka order online saja.

It ranked No.1 on MPH'S Bestsellers ranking. And most importantly, is the cheapest among the 20 books *ehehe

Lepas 2 hari order, dia pun sampai. But it has to get in line for its turn to be read, queue tengah panjang. Yeah, I know, perasaan berkobar tu masa belum dapat je, bila dah dapat, terus drop, like 100%.

Facebook Status (Part I)

Before I went on deactivating my FB, I took some (crazy) effort to copy my statuses from the beginning. Memang macam tak de kerja, but I actually feel very attached to each of them, because sometimes they just pop-up in my mind out of nowhere, so I must 'preserve' them somewhere that is not deactivated. Of course-lah boleh je re-activate balik FB tu on and off, but, let's not do that eheh.

While going through my old posts, I think, deactivating FB is really a right decision. Entah apa-apa aku mengarut dulu-dulu kat situ, haishh 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sekarang kalau ada quote yang tiba-tiba pop-up dalam kepala, aku letak kat sini je @mygoldpen

So, after finding and filtering, here are some of it:


Although i am not an emotional person, that doesn't mean i have no emotion.

.

I don't wave the flag
Or be presence at the merdeka parade
But that does not make me a non-patriotic Malaysian.

.

All I need is a nightmare.
To wake me up.

.

I am not paranoid.
I just don't know what to do.

.

"Some things are better left unsaid"
(but please read my mind)

.

Don't judge me.
You don't even know my shoe size.
What makes you think you can fit in it?

.

I want to be a good person.
But all I am is just a rational freak.

.

The reason why most people can't see is because they don't care.

.

It's not lost.
It's not forgotten.
It's subsconscious-ed.

.

Sometimes we forget to count the blessings when we are too busy being miserable.

.

I don't know what to do anymore.
Maybe because I still don't know what to do.

.

It's when we close our eyes that we feel our heart.
But life requires us to open them to see reality.
Whatever, whatever.

.

What's the point of trying to try harder when you actually don't even want it anymore. 

.

There's a HUGE difference between being ego and being upset.
Just so you know.

.

Don't judge people by their facebook profile.
What's on the wall is only their alter ego.
.

The worst part is not being trapped.
The worst is believing that there is no way out.

.

I am not comfortable with people worrying too much about me.
It makes me worry even more.

.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Only The Brave


Pic: Google


Banyak dugaan nak tengok cerita ni. Showing time tak sesuailah, tak release dekat cinema terdekatlah, blabla..

But it's based on a true event, jadi, cabaran dugaan kami tempuhi jugak. So kami pergi tengok di cinema yang jarang pergi dan tak aware pasal parking location, ended up kami terpaksa tawaf the whole Aeon to get to our car after the movie sebab semua (closer) pintu kat shopping complex tu dah berkunci.

Dapatlah bersenam free pukul 12 malam adoii.

It's a sad movie, well, how could it not, since it was based on a very sad tragedy. Sedih, sampai termimpi-mimpi lepas tengok tu. Tak boleh bayang perasaan the 19 firefighters during their last moments tu.

Can you imagine taking shelter inside of this while the super-massive fire was blown over you? Well, I can’t 😔
Pic credit to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_shelter#/media/File:Fire_shelter.jpg

Dan lagi, the movie title planted in my mind as "The Last Brave", tak tahu mana datang phrase tu. Bila cakap pasal movie ni I kept on saying The Last Brave, instead of the correct one. 

Antara quote yang aku ingat:

"We don't see things as they are because we always see things as we are"



Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Gold Rush

Finally, habis jugak baca ni.


This book is by Micheal Johnson, athletics Olympic champion. It's about his journey of breaking the world's record for 200m and 400m and winning Olympic gold medals in 1996.

He also interviewed some other great athletes (from various sports) for their success story. So, every word in this book is inspiring and motivating.

Here's some of my favorites:







Sunday, November 5, 2017

The Side Story of JDT-vs-KDA

Dah lama tak layan bola. ‘Layan’ as in tengok live match depan tv, and dozes off before the first half ends.

I was rooting for Kedah, but Johor won. It’s okay.

Sebenarnya nak cerita pasal my niece, Aisyah. Dia dapat tahu pasal final match tu, jadi dia tanya mak dia nak sokong mana. Lepas tu dia jawab sendiri pulak, “Sokong Johorlah kan, sebab Tilong duduk Johor”

Ololo, sweet sangat 😘😍.

Friday, November 3, 2017

This Is Not Goodbye

For the friends we ‘lost’ along the way.


As the seasons change
and the years go by
here we are
          growing apart

but this is not goodbye.

I am not keeping a distance
but we have to keep up with life,
where I am not in yours anymore
and you, not in mine

But my friend,
this is not goodbye

We are  no longer at the intersecting point;
so this is where our paths have to part
it’s not you,
it’s not me,
it’s life.

But this is not goodbye;

You will always have that spot in my heart
as someone I shared my tears and my laughter with,
as someone I shared one chapter of my life with

Although it may seem like it,
but this, my friend,
is not the end.



Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Thursday, November 2, 2017

The 'Mighty' Words

Don't indulge yourself too much on your current emotion. You might regret every word you say now while you're being overwhelmed with emotion. Especially when you're angry.

Angry people always say the 'stupidest' things.

And the worst part of it - the words are irreversible. Once it's said, you can't just take it back. Yes, you can apologize, but the pain that you've caused can't be undone.

So, be careful with words. You might deliberately say things to hurt someone TODAY, out of anger, out of rage.

But you'll never know what you might feel 10 years from now. Those words might haunt you back. The pain that you intentionally caused other people in the past, might be your biggest, intolerable regret one day.

You know what they say about regret; it lasts forever.

"Regret is a form of punishment itself"
 -Nourman Ali Khan-



Wednesday, November 1, 2017

What You Sow, You Reap

Konon. Padahal bukan tukang tanam, tukang petik je 😝😝😝

Ni lah dia, hasil tanaman petikan di kebun kecil depan rumah:
Momma chili + Baby chili 



Sebelum ni cili padi tu keluar banyak, berbelas-berbelas biji jugak. Tapi tak tertuai-tuai sampailah dia akhirnya mengecut dekat pokok tu. Dan kali ni dia keluar satu je. Merajuk dah kot.

Cili besar tu pun sama kes. Sebelum ni keluar 2,3 biji jugak. Kali ni satu je.

Okay, chillies, I'm picking you this time. Please sprout more, will you?

Monday, October 30, 2017

Thor Ragnarok

No spoiler, no worries 😉

Makcik bagi 5 bintang sebab kelakar, rasa macam tengok Guardians of The Galaxy pulak. Tapi Natalie Portman tak ada, mungkin sebab tak ada scene dekat Bumi sangat kot.

Nak listkan apa yang best:

1. Ada Mark Ruffalo
2. Karakter Loki yang tak konsisten tu - kejap baik, kejap jahat.
3. Thor dah potong rambut haha
4. The film score & soundtrack
5. Kelakar! (walaupun dah mention kat atas)



Friday, October 27, 2017

The Wilted Roses

I followed @celinezabad on Instagram. She posted this picture and asked her followers to caption this.

*I'm posting it here for my record*




All things must come to an end,
even the most beautiful thing.

Like roses.

Like you and me.


Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Taste Bud Evolution

I think I'm slowly losing my Terengganu-ish taste bud nowadays. For example, I can no longer eat roti jala the Terengganu style (with kuah manis). Tak boleh telan dah. Mesti nak kena makan dengan kari ayam.

Lepas tu bila sesekali nak makan roasted chicken, I'd opt for Nando's instead of Kenny Rogers. Sebab Nando's ada sos yang Mild itu (walaupun masih tak tahan pedas, tapi nak jugak ada rasa pedas-pedas tu hahaha)

.
.

BUT, Kenny Rogers has this now (ke aku yang baru tahu):
Pedas, masam, manis

And they also have Honey BBQ and Smoked BBQ sauce


Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Konflik Diri

This is in my Draft box, something from 2012. I think it's unfinished, but I'm posting it anyway. It is still what I feel, up until now. The battle that I need to struggle everyday, especially at work. Because I need to be something that I am not. I do have trouble fitting in the ruthless and political world.

Here goes..

Pagi semalam, macam biasa, dengar motivasi pagi - semalam pasal sifat "Saya yang salah". And I keep on thinking about that all day.

To be honest, that's kinda who I am. Every time something that is not right happens, my initial spontaneous reaction would be - finding my own fault.
Only the way I see it - it's a disadvantage. I hate that about me - rasa macam senang dibuli, ditindas dan dipijak. I kinda look up to people who always manage to make everything that went wrong as everybody else's fault. It's easier to be that way, right?

Tapi bila ustaz kata "Sebenarnya dalam dunia ni, tak ada siapa yang boleh tindas kita atau hina kita. Hanya Allah yang boleh untuk hina kita"
My mind went ........... tak tahu nak pikir macam mana. Sebak pun ye. 

Maybe there's nothing wrong with me. Maybe I just need to love myself a little bit more.

After all, bukankah pandangan Allah itu lebih penting?

Monday, October 23, 2017

Declaration

Ini cerita masa pergi interview hari tu.

Pengalaman pertama terjumpa 'clause' ni dalam employment form. Right after police conviction and smoking declaration pulak tu.



I found it a little bit disturbing that it needs to be declared upon employment. But it didn't surprise me that much masa tengok keadaan kilang tu. In fact, I did want to just walk away while waiting for the interviewer. But on a second thought, nanti kang black-listed pulak dalam Jobstreet tu maka hadap jelah. 

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Apam Balik Traffic Jam

Masa balik kampung for Raya Haji, apam balik ni jadi penyebab jalan jam di Kota Tinggi. Lebih kurang sejam jugak stuck dalam jam. Ingatkan ada accident ke apa, rupanya sebab orang berhenti tepi jalan nak beli dia.

Okay, nama sebenar dia - Apam Balik Jalan Mawai. To me, memang sedap. Bahagian tepung dia tu lembutnya lahai. Tak pernah lagi makan apam balik lembut dan fluffy macam ni *drooling while writing this 🤤🤤🤤

Ada banyak perisa (seperti tertera pada pembungkus) tapi kami beli yang original je, harganya RM2.50.





Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Semoga

Semoga kamu temui damai dalam kekalutan yang kamu ciptakan.

Semoga suatu hari kamu akan ‘dewasa’ sebelum terlambat.

Semoga kamu bahagia dengan segala kebencian di hati kamu.

Ya, semoga kamu bahagia selalu.


p/s: Untuk para pembenci.




Thursday, October 12, 2017

Bimbo?

First of all, I'm curious - does the word 'bimbo' only associated to pretty face?

Second of all, I don't think anyone should ever address anyone else 'bimbo' as in intellectual capability. 

Especially not when you're the smart one.

Well, just saying.

Me,
Not-so-clever-girl.

Retak Satu Part II

I wrote about similar incident here

And my sister sent this video a couple days ago. I LOL-ed the moment I watched it.



Kita senasib, only the plate of hers broke for a valid reason (or must I say a very SOLID reason) that a mortar fell onto it. Haha, another LOL. Sorry, Buyan.

So, misi mencari pinggan mangkuk is ON.


Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Siakap Viral

Sebenarnya kedai makan ni yang viral, di Kampung Pasir Putih, Pasir Gudang:

Parking lot is provided

Pilihan lauk dah tak banyak masa kami sampai. Rata-rata yang datang sini memang makan the famous siakap goreng.

These were what we had (udang goreng dan lauk lain dah habis by that time).




Kami pergi time lunch on weekdays, walaupun orang ramai jugak tapi tak perlu menunggu. Servis sangat okay dan cepat. But I guess, I'm just not a fan of siakap goreng.

The scenery - macam tak menarik sangat.








Tuesday, October 10, 2017

The Kuih Heaven

Sejenis kegembiraan yang tak terkata bila dapat pergi sini. Atau tempat-tempat seumpama ni. Dapat berada di kalangan kuih-kuih manis dan lemak berkrim ni memang sangat heaven for such a sweet tooth like me.


Pictures were taken at Pasar Batu Enam, Kuala Nerus:





Yang ni kalau kat Terengganu, dipanggil 'nganang'. Sorry, tak tahu nama saintifik dia. Rasa dia lebih kurang kuih akok.



Jumpa kuih yang aku sangat masa kecik-kecik dulu:
Tepung Pasung. Dapat tahu nama ni lepas aku google "kuih Terengganu bentuk kon"


And this is the secret ingredient to some meal!


Sunday, October 8, 2017

Popia Beratur

Kalau dekat bazar Ramdhan memang tak ada can lah nak merasa sebab queue panjang bebenor. Nak beratur tu memang kurang sikit kesabaran, maka mampu tengok jelah sambil tertanya-tanya sedap sangat ke sampai begitu sekali orang queue.

Last week pergi pasar malam dan terjumpa. Kebetulan masa tu tak ramai orang maka dapatlah jugak merasa Popia SS Ali ni at last.

So dah tahulah sebab apa orang sanggup beratur panjang-panjang.


The combo package




Friday, October 6, 2017

29th SEA GAMES 2017

Haha. Outdated gila! Mood baru sampai jadi baru dapat nak update pasal ni.

Sebaik je tahu Malaysia jadi host memang terus plan nak pergi tengok olahraga. Any event will do, asalkan dapat hari yang bersesuaian which was either Friday or Monday sebab senang nak mintak cuti sehari je kan.

Jadi sebulan sebelum Sukan SEA start, aku hari-hari pergi check event schedule. Bila dapat tau free admission ticket for athletics, lagilah berkobar-kobar nak prgi.

Hajat di hati nak jugak tengok 100m and 200m final, tapi, acara tu berlangsung in the middle of weekdays, jadi hasrat tu dilupakan jelah. Luckily for us, final match for 4X100 (men and women) and long jump (women) was held on Friday. Dan memang dari zaman sekolah dua acara tu memang wajib masuk. Maka, double yeay di situ hehe.

Seingat aku, last berada dalam stadium untuk acara olahraga was in my 2nd year USM. Dekat stadium USM main campus. Rindunya nak sprinting and jumping, tapi apakan daya, nilah game yang orang takkan main dah once you're 'fully-retired' from it, kan? Kalau main badminton ke futsal ke netball ke, bolehlah lagi main untuk suka-suka.

Okay, enough reminiscing.

Sampai stadium ngam-ngam betul atlit-atlit wanita 4x100 tengah get ready kat track. Sempatlah ambik video yang super-amateur quality ni (tapi video 4x100 women tak lepas nak upload). But, not sure whether it's view-able or not. If not, I'll just remove it later.








The results:



Us (haha nak jugak tepek):
Busy bebenor YB ni, tengah wefie pun nak kena jawab phone

Kat tengah padang masa tu ada jugak acara Javelin final. Dan dekat sebelah hujung kanan sana acara Long Jump, so dari seat kami tak nampak. Nak menapak ke sana tu satu hal pulak, maka tengok di big screen jelah. Antara sebab aku suka sangat long jump dulu sebab event tu macam low profile sikit. Orang tak pay attention sangat kat dia, jadi pressure tu kurang. Unlike the 100m, perasaan antara "On your mark" and the "Bang" tu - Allah je yang tahu dia punya dub-dab tu. Tapi paling best masa sprint tulah - tak boleh nak describe perasaan tu haha.

Okaylah, terubat sudah rindu di hati. 

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Blindsided

Of the other possible possibility. Because there are always two sides to every story.


Blindsided

Maybe
I broke your heart in the first place
and acted like I was the victim

Maybe
the cold shoulder that you gave
was your self-defense mechanism

And if that was the case;

I'm sorry
that you have to put yourself back together
while I was busy
playing the broken card

I'm sorry
that you have to heal the wound I caused
while I was busy
misunderstanding you.





Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Lay The Ghost of Mistakes To Rest

Knowing what I know now, I always wish to go back in time and do things right all over again.

But;
Had I not gone through all the mistakes that I made, I would not know what I know now.

So;
there's no use going back in time (as if it's possible).

All I have to do is,
forgive myself for not knowing better back then.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Strangers



Now we're back to being strangers
    we once were

But that's okay
I like being your stranger
      not knowing you
and you, not knowing me


I just hate this thing in the middle
from being just random strangers
  to being back to strangers


I wish our paths didn't cross that day
so I wouldn't have to know
what a sweet person (I thought) you are
and what a narcissist you are


Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Friday, September 29, 2017

Boy vs Man

I read somewhere about differences between a boy and a man. I thought I've printscreen-ed it, but too bad, I didn't.

But this is what I can remember:

A boy - focus on being served and provided
A man - focus on serving and providing

Aku terfikir, antara punca kepincangan institusi kekeluargaan dan masyarakat hari ini adalah disebabkan ini. Anak-anak muda tidak diasuh dan tidak dilatih untuk 'serve' dan 'provide'. Berapa ramai anak muda yang dari segi kudrat mental dan fizikal terlebih mampu untuk berdikari tetapi masih mengharapkan ihsan orang lain untuk hidup? Lebih 'pathetic', menyalahkan orang-orang sekeliling di atas pilihan hidup yang salah?

(**I emphasize on 'antara' because obviously, it is not the sole reason)

I believe this is among the 'WHYs' -  because our old boys refuse to grow up into a man. 



Jadi pesanku pada PEMUDA harapan bangsa;

Berhentilah merintih mengenang nasib dan menyalahkan semua orang dalam dunia.

Grow up and be a man. 
A real man.


Thursday, September 28, 2017

Something Borrowed

I seek permanent
in something borrowed

and then get disappointed
when it's taken back


I forget the fundamental of the concept
that something borrowed
needs to be returned



Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Just Another Poem of Humanity

This is just another humanity poem
intended for the human heart

But human rights
is becoming such a complicated thing
it's becoming more
                  than just 'right' or 'wrong'
so we no longer afford
having a heart
for it is such a heavy baggage


Nobody reads humanity
   people are too busy chasing prosperity



So there
   this poem
is better off unfinished

rather than unread




Tuesday, September 26, 2017

I Am Not

I Am Not


I am not gone
but all you feel
is my absence

I am not done
but all you see
is my imperfection



Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝






Monday, September 25, 2017

Finding Light

Finding Light

I will find the light
in the darkest night

I will find the light
to warm the coldest fight

I will find the light
even hope is out of sight

I will find the light
despite my fright.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Not The One

Not The One

I wanted you to hear me
to see me
to value me
to adore me


but I understand now


Even if I write the saddest song
it will never get to your heart
because I am not the one you hear

I could pass you by everyday
but you will never look at me
because I am not the one you see

I could heal your wound
but you will never mind me
because I am not the one you value

I could be by your side
for the rest of eternity
but I will never make you laugh
because I am not the one you adore

I understand that now
and it's not your fault
and it's not me, either


I understand
I am not the one
and that's why I don't matter.




Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observationsJust chill, don't speculate 😝😝

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Making Peace with Those Who Forget

There are certain people in our life that we would do and sacrifice anything as long as they are okay. 

But sadly, for some reason, eventually, they just forget. Or leave.

As much as we want them to stay, we just have to learn to let go. Because no matter how hard we try, some people aren't meant to stay. If it's not by choice, it would be by fate. 

But it doesn't have to be a bad thing. All you have to tell yourself, that all of the hardships and sacrifices that you were willing to undergo with/for them meant something. That you were a good person. That you were capable of putting aside your own comfort for other's sake. That you were a strong person. someone with the heart of gold.

So don't regret it. As for the people who forgot about it, and forgot about you,  then, obviously it's their loss, for not wanting to be around someone who is selfless, who's willing to undergo storms with/for them.

After all, it's not your fault that people change. You can still be that good person you once were by making peace with that fact. And then, move on. And continue making this world a little better for everyone else around you.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Small Job vs Small Man

"There is no small job, only small man"

Tak dapat nak letak kredit sebab tak tahu siapa punya quote ni.

Peringatan untuk diri sendiri sebab selalu lost passion in my jobs sebab aku ended up fikir kerja aku tak penting, tak ada value dsb. And that thoughts surely will lead to de-motivation.

Jadi quote tu memang kena la setepek dengan muka aku. What a small person I am. 

So hopefully I would be able to reset my mind. Even if my job doesn't seem to have direct contribution to society in specific (like doctors), but then again, there is no small job. Every job is important. 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

This Screwed-Up society

Al-fatihah untuk semua mangsa dan keluarga mangsa kebakaran Pusat Tahfiz Darul Quran Ittifaqiyah. Dan untuk kita yang lain juga, semoga kita semua mampu mencari penawar untuk masyarakat yang sudah terbukti sakit tenat. 

Ada banyak benda daripada keseluruhan peristiwa ni yang tak mampu dihadamkan oleh akal. 

From the day one of the news. Pasal video yang direkod semasa kejadian, masa anak-anak tu cuba selamatkan diri. I couldn't bring myself to watch it, I hope it's not true. Because if it is, I cannot imagine what a steel-hearted the person who's recording it is. I mean, takkanlah sanggup rekod sementara melihat tangan-tangan mintak tolong tu? Walaupun mungkin tak ada apa yang boleh dibuat untuk tolong but still, recording a video? 

And then - the obsession of our society to spread out info/news yang belum tentu betul atau tidak. 

And as for the kids who were involved with the crime, I don't have words for that.  It's beyond insanity.

The blaming game will not do any good now.

It all goes back to the core of the human beings. If it is not HUMANITY, then what are we now? 

Monday, September 18, 2017

Macam Belangkas

Ni bukan macam belangkas. Ini memang belangkas. Hehe.


Pakcik yang tangkap ni nak bagi free je belangkas ni, tapi iols tak pandai nak buang racun dia tu maka tak ambik lah. Kalau dia bagi yang dah masak, memang terus ambik.

Yang saiz besar tu betina, yang kecik jantan. Dan aku baru tahu nama dia in English - Horseshoe Crab. Comel betul nama dia.

Okay dah, sekian pelajaran Biologi Marin hari ini.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Tips Masakan Tahan Lama

These tips I got from observations and also conversations with the elderly. So let me summarize in one article.

Tahan lama tu bukanlah maksudnya tahan berminggu-minggu macam tu. Maksudnya bolehlah tahan semalaman tanpa dimasukkan dalam fridge. Gitu.

1. Untuk nasi, basuh beras bersih-bersih sampai air warna putih. Selain nasi jadi tahan lama, arwah tok saudara  aku pernah bagitahu ni tips dia untuk awet muda. Tapi serius, arwah memang awet muda.

2. Masa nak serve makanan tu, make sure semua bekas-bekas tu betul-betul kering sebelum letak makanan dalam tu.

3. Lepas masak jangan terus tutup kuali/periuk. Bagi asap-asap tu reda dulu ehehe. Maaflah, tak reti nak buat ayat macam mana 😬

4. Tumis bahan-bahan kisar (contoh: bawang putih, halia, bawang merah, cili boh) lama sikit.

5. Jangan campur-campur senduk.

Tu je yang teringat buat masa ni. Tadi rasa-rasa macam banyak, rupanya lima je ke?  😂😂😂 Tengoklah, kalau ada lagi nanti aku tambah lagi.