Thursday, March 16, 2017

Of Forgiveness

Something happened recently. Something that made me think "Ada jugak orang macam ni dalam dunia ni"

Mostly the feeling is angry, apart of that 'unbelievable' feeling.

I hate dramas. All my life, that's what I avoid the most. Even if sometimes, it means - giving in. Somewhere deep down, for everything that people did to me, I have faith that Allah knows and will someday reveal the truth. Alhamdulillah, that's all I can say. For the patience and rational thoughts inside of me. And for the calmness outside of me. And for not desperately trying to explain myself to people.  Although there were times that I fell apart and almost broke down, out of devastation.

So for the 1000th times, I am down on that road again. The worst part of this, is that I can't forgive. And of course, they are not sorry. But I know that I have to forgive, anyway, in order to move on and to be at peace again. But that's the problem. Forgiveness is not really my forte. I just don't know how to do it. I remember things, although on the surface, they don't look like they're bothering me. But they just do. *cry*

There were people in the past that I took years to forgive. And I don't want to waste that much of time anymore for people who are so not worth it. Maybe I just need to cut them out of my life. For good. I don't know.

Haishh, serabut perut, orang tranung kate.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Tanya Sama Itu Hud-Hud

"Lihat dunia dari mata sang burung
Ataupun dari dalam tempurung
Yang mana satu engkau pilih"

-Tanya Sama Itu Hud-Hud, M.Nasir-



On a personal note, I just want to say this. And this only.


Rendahkan hati untuk melihat sesuatu perkara dari perspektif orang lain.
Bukan semua benda di dalam dunia ini hanya berkisar tentang diri kita.

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Humble yourself to see things from others' perspective.
You'll be surprised on how this world doesn't only resolve around you.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Random Bitterness

I'm being bitter today.

All the hype about the Woman's Day - well, I just don't give damn.
Entah-entah ni semua dakyah nak buat perempuan-perempuan shopping sempena Woman's Day.

Hmm.. Dah tak ada idea pulak nak bebel apa.
.
.
.
Owh, ada.

Nowadays, I don't feel like 'membebel' on FB anymore. I guess, it's too open out there. Plus, I don't feel comfortable when people making fun of what I wrote online. But I'm putting it all behind. It's okay. I just need to put some limit, that's all.
.
Lagi.

Recently I finally got to watch Kurt Cobain - Montage of Heck. Well, to me it's disturbing despite knowing that he was a tortured soul. But still, thanks Mr. Kurt Cobain for all the songs that I grew up with.

Okay, enough of the bitterness.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Keeping Track of Life

One thing about keeping a journal is that - it helps you keeping track of who you were and who you've become.

Sometimes, while growing up you forgot that once you were just a kid. A raw soul. A naive dreamer. A rebel without a cause. 

And along the way, life happens and it changes you. A part of you is missing, like a stranger you never knew. You've become someone you never thought of becoming. 

But once in a while you get to re-visit the old you. It's good to sometimes get in touch with the bricks that build you. 

In that regard, I am thankful for this blog. Although I might have written things that I am not proud of, but hey, I was that 'kid'. And that's okay.  Everyday is a learning curve.