Buat Baik - Untuk Apa

Buat Baik - Untuk Apa

Buat baik

biarlah walau tak dihargai

Buat baik

bukan untuk disayang manusia

Buat baik

untuk Allah

Buat baik

untuk bekalan di sana

Biarlah berpenat di dunia

biarlah disakiti manusia

Dunia bukan apa-apa

Manusia bukan apa-apa.

Nota Raya IV

Syawal dah habis dah pun tapi tiba-tiba terperasan this one in the Draft box.

So post jugaklah walaupun dah tak bulan raya.

Aku tak tahulah kenapa tahun ni punya doa selepas solat raya tu sangat-sangat terkesan kat hati ni. Dengan esakan Imam sambil berdoa tu, dengan setiap doa yang dimohon tu, menggigil rasa badan aku tahan airmata. Nanti kalau dah termenangis susah pulak nak stop. Orang sebelah kiri dan kanan aku memang dah teresak-esak dah. Tak pernah seumur hidup feeling macam tu pagi-pagi raya. Sayu dan sebak sangat. 

Mungkin selama ni tak berapa khusyuk dengar khutbah dan masa doa pun fikiran melayang-layang je kot. Lepas tu, terdetik jugak kat hati aku, husband aku rasa yang sama macam ni tak ek?

Lepas solat, on the way balik, my BIL and my husband duk ulas pasal Imam yang menangis masa doa tadi. Diorang kata Imam tu menangis sebab anak dia tak balik raya tahun ni, sebab tak nampak kelibat anaknya kat masjid tu.  Dan lagi, selalunya tahun-tahun sebelum ni, si anaklah yang imamkan solat raya kat masjid tu.

Adoi, diorang ni!! Bukannya nak syahdu-syahdu di pagi raya, bergosip pulak. Langsung kontra dengan perasaan aku tadi, haha. 

Retak Satu

It's hard to throw you away when you decide to break yourself so beautifully. Feels like I can still use you (cry emoticon).

Dia pecah sendiri secara tiba-tiba. Okay, maybe aku tersilap letak masa susun kat dishdryer tu yang mana rasanya ada terlebih tekanan sikit dekat bucu dan propagate crack dari situ. Tapi terkejut tiba-tiba tak semena-mena dengar bunyi kaca pecah. Cari-cari dari mana datang bunyi tu, tengok-tengok dah terbelah dua macam tu.

Dahlah rumah ni memang sedia kurang pinggan mangkuk, pecah pulak lagi. Kalau dia pecah berderai memang dah lama buang. Tapi bila pecah macam ni, tak sampai hati lagi nak buang. Haha, unnecessary dilemma, I know, I know.

What Would You Say

To those who suffer silently.


What Would You Say?


You sat quietly in that little corner
swallowing
     every bitterness life threw you
your eyes all teared up
but you didn't cry
and you didn't say a word


   Sometimes
when your mask lifted
perhaps you're too exhausted
    from all the pretending
I can see you're hurting,
     your wounds and your scars
but still, you didn't say a word
   
Tell me, though

   those unspoken words
      do they kill you inside?

   and all those pain in your eyes
      does it make you strong?
      or does it make you numb?

    all the sorrow you've been hiding
         does it lay up in your heart
         as metal shields
              or as dark clouds?


Cause I wonder
what if you can speak up
what would you say?

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate 😝😝

RIP, Chester

Found out about the news yesterday. Sejak tak ada FB, insta ni memang terketinggalan sungguh rasanya. It felt so surreal, and a bit of heart-broken :(

Well, haven't listened much to Linkin Park's latest stuffs (except Castle of Glass). At some point, I thought they've broken up since Fort Minor. Tapi masa zaman kegemilangan mereka tu memang suka gila lagu-lagu diorang especially NUMB. Biasalah zaman remaja kita akan dengar lagu-lagu yang kita boleh relate to, kan? Which most of their songs were to me. Tapi tak ada beli kaset or CD sebab zaman tu dah start era MP3 so kumpul lagu diorang dalam PC je. Dan duk ulang-ulang dengar dekat WinAmp.

Anyway, read an article (shared by my sister) pasal last video they uploaded, one hour before Chester's death. It's called "Talking To Myself". So aku pun terus pi You Tube. Bila lagu nak start je, You Tube tu ter-off sendiri pulak. Hmm, goosebumps sangat.

And on the other note, bila makin ramai personel yang kita kind of grew up with pergi satu persatu, it kinda hit me. That we're growing old and one day, it'll be our turn, too. Semoga pengakhiran yang baik untuk kita semua.

RIP, Chester. Your legendary voice will always live on.

Aisyah dan Zalikha

Okay, first of all nak bagitau dulu - bahawasanya ini adalah post sengal. Tak berfaedah langsung, maka kalau tak baca memang tak rugi sikit pun hahaha. 

Recently aku ada terdengar beberapa lagu yang nama perempuan tengah meletop kat radio. Two songs, to be exact - Aisyah dan Zalikha. Okay, here comes the sengal part. Aku kan, dari dulu lagi duk tunggu bilalah nak ada lagu Nurul Izza ni haha.

Antara jawapan yang aku dengar - susah kot nak sebut nama tu dalam lagu. Tak catchy lah tu maksudnya kan.

Tak kisahlah tu, sebab aku rasa, kalau ada orang buat lagu tu pun, tak tahu lepas ke tak nak putaq kat radio kan. Oppss.

Okay, dah. Publish.

#prayfortheankle

I sprained my ankle last Sunday while playing badminton (cry emoticon). Mula-mula ingatkan macam biasa so lepas terpeleot tu, rehat kejap dan sambung main walaupun terhincut-hincut. Tapi malam tu macam makin sakit pulak. Nak berpijak tu macam terseksa sangat.

Aku ada Google jugak treatment untuk sprained ankle so nak share jugaklah kat sini. Ada method yang dipanggil RICE method - Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevate.

1. REST - Kena rehatkan kaki, tak boleh gerak banyak-banyak. Tang ni macam dah fail sikit sebab hari tu sambung main jugak lepas dah terpelecot tu.

2. ICE - kena tuam dengan ais untuk reduce swelling. Nasib baik kat rumah ni ada HOT/COLD PACK so senang sikitlah, letak je 20 minit dalam freezer lepas tu bolehlah tuam tempat yang bengkak. Do this every 1-2 hours for about 20 minutes.

3. Compression - kena balut atau letak bandage supaya dapat support kecederaan tu. Aku tak ada bandage jadi aku balut je pakai scarf, yang penting jangan ketat sangat. 

4.  ELEVATE - tinggikan kaki melebihi paras jantung. Ni boleh buat time ada peluang nak baring jelah.

Yang paling penting, jangan urut dalam masa 3 hari. Lega jugak bila baca ni sebab ada excuse tak pergi berurut ehehe. Sebab aku perasan dalam budaya Melayu ni, mesti nak kena cepat-cepat pergi urut kalau terseliuh, kan? Tengah sakit macam ni orang pegang pun dah rasa nak menjerit, kalau pergi urut tak tahulah. 

Ni semua hasil Google je. The best is of course, seek medical advice from the doctors lah kan sebab takut ade injury more than just normal sprain Nauzubillah. By the time I'm writing this (which will be auto-published as usual), I haven't seen the doctor yet. Still within 24 hours, tengoklah macam mana. 

Please pray for me.

Sampai Bila

"Sampai bila?" 

That would be the question.

However, there is an answer to this question that could be uttered in TWO very different tone:

"Sampai bila-bila"

One is in a HOPEFUL tone.
While the other one is in a HOPELESS tone.

Isn't it funny how a sentence can mean a lot of things?
A lot of a different thing.

Marriage Formula

This is from Yasmin Mogahed's Reclaim Your Heart (again).

The formula for a happy mariage is LOVE + RESPECT.

Naturally, the wife wants to be loved and the man wants to be respected.  So as for the wife, in order to be loved, you have to show respect.  And as for the husband, in order to be respected, you have to show love.

But the trick is - it has to be unconditional.

You cannot expect your wife to respect you first, then only you'll show her love. Or vice versa.  No, it won't work that way.  Because once the wife doesn't feel loved, she will respect you less. And vice versa.

So you have to give first.  After all, true love is UNCONDITIONAL, right?

Transformers: The Last Knight

Finally, got to watch it last weekend.

Well, I loved it ehehe. Despite the long duration, I stayed awake the whole time. Err, maybe because it's Mark Wahlberg la kot. And tertunggu-tunggu Optimus Prime yang lambat sangat nak muncul. But, the fighting scenes memang tak boleh blahhh.

Heroin tu aku tak kenal but she looks like Angelina Jolie, though. Dan ada Anthony Hopkins, I like jugak ehehe.

Yang pasti, there will be another sequel since Quintessa is not yet dead. Eh, spoiler ke? Opss.

I asked my husband, "If Transformer keeps making its sequel until we're 50,  would we still go and watch it?" Haha.

Well, probably yes.

Split Personality

It's funny how contrary two people see you.  It's like,  one sees you as white, the other sees you as black. *please don't take this racially*

Is it because some people know you very well while the other - not so well?

Or is it because they only see what they want to see in you?  Or do they see you as what they think you are? Or they see the reflection of themselves in you?


Or,


Is it because they never bother to really see you?

The Messed-Up(s)

I think the reason why the world is so messed up today is because everybody's goal is to WIN.

It doesn't matter anymore how many people we've hurt, as long as we WIN.

Nobody really wants to do good anymore.
Nobody really wants to be good anymore.

Because somehow, goodness is always NOT exponential to winning.

We are all afraid of being left behind. Of being cast aside. Of not fitting in.

I pray that one day, we all have the courage to choose goodness. Instead of winning.

Ketupat Nasi

Ni cerita pre-raya hari tu.  Sampai kampung lebih kurang pukul 11 malam. Lepas makan, sembang-sembang sikit, terus bawak daun kelapa ni masuk dalam bilik maklumlah dah gian bebenor nak anyam ketupat setelah bertahun-tahun tak praktikkan skill. Tapi cuba-cuba, tak menjadi-jadi. Hasilnya macam dalam gambar ni.  Kepala ketupat ni tak berjodohan, tak tahulah kenapa tersesat jalan satu ke barat satu ke timur.  Bila dah pukul 2 lebih tu barulah finally dapat the right pace, berjayalah anyam sebijik dengan betul.  Tapi memikirkan nak bangun sahur pukul 5 nanti, maka aku tidur jugaklah kejap.  

*ketupat tak jadi*

Lepas sahur sambung balik menganyam.  Gigih betul.  Sampai pukul 7, dapatlah beberapa bijik ni. Lepas tu kepala dah tingtong tak cukup tidur, maka sambung tidur balik haha.

*ketupat menjadi eheh*

Of Forgiveness - A New Perspective

It's still Raya month and Raya is all about forgiveness.  Or at least, that is what it's SUPPOSED to be.

I think in this blog I always confess that I am so NOT a forgiving person. Not that I didn't try, but it's just something that was quite impossible for me to do. Not that I took revenge or anything, I just let it consumed my heart for years until one day it doesn't anymore.  Because I thought if they're forgiven, it was as if they got to get away with it, which was not fair.

But recently,  I heard one of Yasmin Mogahed's lecture on YouTube. In one of her lectures, she talked about forgiveness.

She mentioned that we need to forgive others that have wronged us not because of he/she deserves our forgiveness. In fact, that forgiveness actually has nothing to do with that person at all . The ultimate reason why we should forgive others is because we hope Allah will forgive us as well.  She added, that we should treat others the way we want Allah to treat us.

I am very, very thankful that I came across the lecture, I think in a way my prayers have been answered.  InsyaAllah, by thinking so,  I'd be able to forgive.

So, let's forgive, shall we?

Nota Raya III

Hehe banyak pulak nota raya.  Since the first nota raya was a bit negative, so let's make it up with the positive ones.

Since kahwin memang dah jadi macam rutin aku buat laksa johor bila turn raya rumah in-laws.  Saja nak menambahkan menu raya sebab first raya memang rumah in-laws ramai saudara datang dari pagi sampai petang non-stop.

Tapi tahun ni aku tak buat.  Dan ada a few (tak ramai pun eheh) yang tanya aku kenapa tahun ni tak ada laksa johor.

I don't know. Simple thoughts like that just warms up my heart.

It doesn't take a lot to make someone's day.  Sometimes all we have to be is - thoughtful.

Nota Raya II

Pergi beraya beberapa hari lepas, ada yang bertanya "Kenapa lama tak nampak kat FB"

Alahai, terharu sangat makcik bila rupanya ada yang sedar kewujudan FB tu.

Tapi rasanya makcik dah patah hati dengan FB ehehe. Tengoklah kalau nanti-nanti ada hati lagi, re-activate balik. Kalau tak, taklah.