This is from Yasmin Mogahed's Reclaim Your Heart (again).
The formula for a happy mariage is LOVE + RESPECT.
Naturally, the wife wants to be loved and the man wants to be respected. So as for the wife, in order to be loved, you have to show respect. And as for the husband, in order to be respected, you have to show love.
But the trick is - it has to be unconditional.
You cannot expect your wife to respect you first, then only you'll show her love. Or vice versa. No, it won't work that way. Because once the wife doesn't feel loved, she will respect you less. And vice versa.
So you have to give first. After all, true love is UNCONDITIONAL, right?