Songs and Moments #3 [Low Man’s Lyric]

Yesterday, out of nowhere, tiba-tiba teringat this line from a song;

 “So I cry in the alley way, confess all to the rain” 

I know it’s Metallica but I don’t remember what song. So here it is, after googling. 

Lagu ni antara lagu-lagu yang aku dengar zaman matriks. Pinjam kaset (album Reload) dan walkman kawan masa tu, dengar masa nak pi kelas, dan dalam bas masa outing. 

For this particular song, aku suka sangat lirik dia. Walaupun ada orang kata it's about suicide-lah, pasal drugs-lah, but I guess, we can interpret it in any way we want it to relate to us.

#3 - Low Man's Lyric by Metallica

My eyes seek reality

My fingers seek my veins

There's a dog at your back step

He must come in from the rain

I fall 'cause I let go

The net below has rot away

So my eyes seek reality

And my fingers seek my veins

The trash fire is warm

But nowhere safe from the storm

And I can't bare to see

What I've let me be

So wicked and worn

So as I write to you

Of what is done and to do

Maybe you'll understand

And won't cry for this man

'Cause low man is due

Please forgive me

My eyes seek reality

My fingers feel for faith

Touch clean with a dirty hand

I touched the clean to the waste

The trash fire is warm

But nowhere safe from the storm

And I can't bare to see

What I've let me be

So wicked and worn

So as I write to you, yeah

Of what is done and to do

Maybe you'll understand

And won't cry for this man

'Cause low man is due

Please forgive me

Please forgive me

Please forgive me

So low the sky is all I see

All I want from you is forgive me

So you bring this poor dog in from the rain

Though he just wants right back out again

And I cry, to the alley way

Confess all to the rain

But I lie, lie straight to the mirror

The one I've broken, to match my face

My eyes seek reality

My fingers seek my veins

Songwriters: James Alan Hetfield / Lars Ulrich

Pretentious..Not

What if people don't pretend that they are good?

What if they were really good and become not-so-good under certain circumstances?

In that case or another, no good would ever come from hatred. Don't you think?

Api Dalam Sekam

“Be mindful of what you say.

For your words are nothing,

but a reflection of your heart”

Not sure whose quote is this, but this is so true. I am too sad, and too exhausted to even elaborate. But in a way, I actually feel betrayed. Mostly by myself. 

Entahlah. I hate it when I don’t know what to do because most of the times, I would just end up running away. I think I don’t want to run away anymore, but then again, I really really don’t know what is the right thing to do.

But maybe, I don’t even have to do anything about it. Maybe this is a reminder (and even a punishment) to myself. Next time around, I really have to be wiser. And I guess, I still have to thank you for finally showing your true color. I wasn’t blind, but I chose to see the best in people, so what does that make me? *sigh

Okay. For now, let’s just sleep on it.

Dear Memories

Dear memories,

why do you have to be all dark and sad?

I want to remember something nice,

something that doesn’t consist of “You disappoint me”,

or end in “I have to go”,

or both.

I want to remember something colorful

under the sun.

I want to remember the sound of laughter

on a breezy day by the seaside.

Why can’t I remember something like that?

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate. I’m just trying to be ‘creative’ here 😝😝 ✌🏽

COSTA

Another option for my headache-killer. Sekarang kat JB dah available at most of Shell gas stations. Rupa-rupanya dia vending machine, so totally self-service. Just follow the machine's instructions and make payment at the counter.

Make sure letak cup tu after Step 3. Kalau letak awal-awal nanti dia tak detect so the drink won't pour into your cup.

Commonness

Do you remember

when we talked about Smashing Pumpkins?

of how I love Ava Adore,

and you love 1979?

I thought to myself,

“Finally someone with common taste of music”,

I thought I found a soulmate of mine

in you.

And yes, you were really

someone with common taste of music

But no, never a soulmate.

Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate. I’m just trying to be ‘creative’ here 😝😝 ✌🏽

The Stolen Voice [Extended Version]

I used to be someone with a voice

a happy voice

a curious voice

and a bit of a noisy voice,

                 so I was told.

And I believed it when you told me

        to shut up

that I must be distracting,

I must be annoying.

So I shut my mouth ever since

believing that my words were not necessary,

not important.

Because all I wanted to do then

was doing the right thing

And you made me believe

being quiet is one

I had lost my voice

since the days you told me to shut up

And then I grew up

struggling to find my voice back

when there was so much that I wanted to say,

when I needed to stand up for myself.

but I just can’t find it back

I never have found it back

All I could remember was how you told me

to “Shut up”

I think you stole my voice

along with my self-esteem.


Disclaimer: All poems may be or may not be from my own experience. Some are merely from observations. Just chill, don't speculate. Just trying to be ‘creative’ here 😝😝 ✌🏽

Kari Kambing 40 Hari

Lokasi : Ayer Hitam, Johor

Dari highway boleh nampak kedai ni. Kalau dari JB, exit Ayer Hitam dan kalau dari KL, boleh exit di Yong Peng siap-siap.

Husband dapat tahu pasal kedai ni from his biker friend dan sini memang macam tempat persinggahan gang bikers kot. Parking memang selalu penuh jadi ramai je yang park tepi-tepi jalan.

Selain meja makan, ada jugak disediakan tempat untuk makan bersila which is more convenient kalau nak makan dalam talam.

Yang ni dalam pinggan - portion dia besar

Queue memang panjang tapi jangan risau, sebab diorang sangat efficient maka tak lama pun beratur nak order. Owh, it’s self-service basis.

Kari kambing adalah super-sedap, nasi dia pun perfectlah bagi aku. Nasiblah jauh nun di Ayer Hitam,jadi sesekali jelah dapat merasa.

Ni senarai harga (silalah klik dan zoom ya 😬)

Typical Streotype

I guess we all know how typical and streotype drama Melayu, especially drama bersiri can be. If you have to watch, all you need to watch is the first, maybe one episode in the middle and the final episode, you will have the idea of what the whole 30 episodes are really about. You won’t feel like you’re missing anything.

But, to be fair, it is actually the same thing with Hollywood movies, especially the rom-com movies. It is somehow predictable, too. Well, most of it.

Boy meets girl, fall in love, always for the similar reasons as below

• If they finish each other’s sentence
• If they share common taste in music or movies or food, etc etc
• If they have the exact same idea of something

But that 3 streotypes are strictly about romantic comedy movies only. As for TV series, they are not so predictable. Although sometimes for action and thriller movies, they are pretty predictable, too.

On a quite different note, I’m currently watching Santa Clarita Diet. Adoii, as much as it’s disturbing, I can’t wait to find out what’ll happen next. Yes, it’s too bloody (literally), so I’ll avoid eating while watching. Hopefully there’ll be Season 3.

Perihal Kucing

Sometimes you think you did it all right. Neutered the pets, put on netting so that your pets won’t go wandering around neighbour’s compound, etc, etc, but still, things can go out of hands *sigh

Kucing betina jiran sebelah ni apparently dah dewasa and now on-heat, dah masuk mengawan season, which attracts so many male cats, macam-macam color dan jenis, entah dari mana diorang ni semua ke rumah sebelah.

Masalahnya my Mocha ni bila ada kucing jantan lain datang, mulalah beliau memancut sana-sini to mark his territory. Arggghh, makcik stress sangat, especially kalau dia spray on the couch. Penat dia lain macam nak basuh the cushion cover, dan nak basuh+jemur the cushions. 

Tak masuk dengan bunyi kucing jantan memanggil-manggil lagi. Memang tak tenanglah si Mocha.

Haishh, harapnya cepat-cepatlah jiran ni pi neuter kucing dia.  

Coffee & The Filters

A friend gave me this coffee from Vietnam. Thanks a lot, dear, for the thought. Coffee from all places will always be the best kind of souvenir for me, eheh.

Since it's ground coffee, so I needed coffee filters sebab selama ni duk minum jenis 3 in 1 (not good, I know) dan jenis uncang je. Mula-mula plan nak pi beli kat Daiso but it was Saturday and boleh bayangkan usaha nak cari parking kat Aeon tu nanti, maka kami ke nearby Mr DIY.

But, instead of one filter, I ended up went to two stores, with 4 types of 'filters' haha. Okay, of course the colander is not for coffee.

System of A Down

Haha.

No, no. Not the band.

My laptop suddenly won’t turn on which I think will affect the blogging activity since I don’t know how to upload photos in here without downloading them to the laptop first. Sigh. Please laptop, don’t die on me now. Not now, not now 😭(although its age is 6 this year).

I can’t imagine having to survey for the best (yet affordable) one now because I haven’t spoken the computer hardware/software language for a very long time. Rasa macam nak kena start from the beginning because I’m sure so much has changed ever since.

Please, please let me be comfortable with my current old, ancient yet beloved laptop.

9th May It Is!

Walaupun hati ni masih tak tetap nak vote for which one, considering the possibility of 3 penjuru. Yang satu tu memang dah out of question 🙄

I am just hoping, really am hoping that the scenario is not of choosing the lesser of two (or maybe three) evils. 

I may not really understand, but I think being powerful can really be a curse, rather than a gift to some people. The misusage of power is what messes up the world today. So I hope the power will be granted to the ones who really want to serve the people.

Eh, melalut. Anyways, happy voting, dear Malaysians. Let’s choose wisely this time!

Of Grey's Anatomy

Sekarang dah Season 14 and still going on for a few more seasons, I guess. But as for me, rasanya cukuplah setakat ini.

Aku rasa storyline dah mengarut dengan banyak sangat muka baru. And they keep on dying and leaving every time.

Aku punya turning point is actually when they paired up Maggie and Jackson. Argghhh, I can't watch anymore. Technically, they are siblings kot. Dan bila dapat tahu April and Arizona will no longer be on the next seasons, yup, enough is enough.

I should have stopped watching when Christina left. Or when Derek died. Or when Callie left. Or when Riggs left. Yeah, I should have stopped a long time ago. Sigh.

I googled the cast for Season 1, 5 and 10 below:

The only constant faces from Season 1 until now are Meredith, Bailey, Alex and Webber.

So that's it. I can't stand the storyline and the inconsistency of the cast. It's so disappointing to me, haha.

Goodbye, Grey's Anatomy.

The Marco Polo Kitchen

Dah lama dah nampak kafe ni, cuma tak terasa nak try pun. But as soon as we noticed the Halal sign's up, our foodie mode was suddenly on.

Tengok harga mula-mula memang tak boleh blah. Jadi ingatkan tu first and last time lah. Tapi entah macam mana, terpengaruh pulak dengan pujukan staf situ dan signed up for membership untuk 2 tahun. Dapatlah 50% off for every meal untuk semua kafe di bawah group yang sama ni:

So at 50% off, barulah rasa reasonable harga tu semua. 

Sebenarnya hari tu nak makan salmon, tapi salmon tak ada pulak. Belek-belek menu, finally ordered this one sebab kat tempat lain macam susah nak dapat ravioli:

Ricotta Ravioli

Walaupun langsung tak ada meat, it turned out so yummy.

Hypothetically

This one is going to be very subtle. 

Aku tak naklah menyentuh sensitiviti mana-mana pihak. Lagipun ini cuma based on my observation, seperti dalam senario-senario yang tersebut di bawah. Dan aku pun tak berminat nak huraikan lebih-lebih. 

Sebenarnya aku dah lama perasan, cuma ini lebih menguatkan lagi apa yang aku perasan.

Ada tiga senario (yang aku harap bukan aku sorang je yang perasan). Tapi entahlah. Aku pun tak tahu sebenarnya di mana duduknya kebanyakan kita di bumi Malaysia ni. 

Scenario 1:

Just recently. At some taxing agency regarding taxing thing.

Scenario 2:

Recent Job Openings in one of the popular job portal.

Scenario 3:

Ini dah lama (lebih kurang 3 years ago). Masa tu pergi agensi yang sama dalam senario 1, hal yang lebih kurang sama jugak. Kebetulan masa tu ramai orang datang untuk program mengurangkan beban rakyat tu.

Sedih sebenarnya dengan situasi-situasi ni. Apa-apa pun, aku harapkan, dalam kita semua berjuang dengan cara kita sendiri, yang paling penting, aku harap kita semua tidak tersalah pilih perjuangan. 

Ikut rasa, binasa,

Ikut hati, mati.

Sedarlah sebenarnya, tiada lagi yang menjaga kepentingan kita. Dan itu sebenarnya bukanlah suatu  yang buruk sepenuhnya. Kerana kita tetap masih boleh berdiri di atas kaki sendiri. Kita hanya perlu SEDAR.

Of Sacrifice

Let’s talk about sacrifice.

In my own words, it’s giving away something you love to make something else works out. Or to make something else into a better condition than they're currently in.

And it has to be something you REALLY love or need, otherwise it wouldn’t be called sacrifice, would it?

But, imagine if you have one last bread for the day. And you are hungry. But you see someone looks hungrier than you are. Then you give up your last slice of bread because you think that someone needs it more. But ironically, you found out later that she/he doesn't even eat the bread simply because she/he doesn't like bread.

It's such a bummer to see that what we’ve sacrificed for, actually is not beneficial at all because the people receiving it actually has no intention of making use of it. 

It feels like we let go of something that we need - for nothing.

But I guess, at the end of the day, what others do with it, is no longer our concern. It’s not up to us anymore. We've done our part. And that's it. Don't feel bad for trying to be the kind.

Oh Thai Goodness

Lagi satu kesukaan baru yang dijumpai di Mydin Mall Mutiara Rini:

Eh, tak cukup zoom 

Untuk drinks tu, staf mereka bancuh kat situ, bukan pakai instant, jadi bolehlah request nak kurang manis atau lebih manis ke. First time beli hari tu, Hot Thai Tea, agak manis bagi aku. Second time, beli Iced Thai Coffee, level kemanisan dia okay. Lepas ni nak try Thai Coffee Milo pulak.

Green Tea, Lime Tea pun ada. Harga dalam range RM7 - RM9 macam tu. Haish, entah bilalah nak insaf benda-benda manis ni.